I Ditched My Fag To Go To Skag {Way}

 

So while my pretty little Lady Haydie was back in summer heat of Texas, celebrating his old-as-shit birthday without me, I was enjoying the crisp air of Skagway, Alaska.  At least I planned ahead and had already sent his present to him before I left, and pre-posted a Happy Birthday blog for him.  Lawd, I am so good!

Confused?  Catch up!

The ‘Early’ Beginning of Our Journey

Welcome Aboard Wednesday

Inside Cruisin’

Catch Me If You Can, Alaska

Remember The Night We Hijacked a Piano Bar?

and

Oh, Jew Know

I woke up bright and early, once again, eager to look at my window and see what view I was blessed with that day.

SonOfA… What the hell is that?  Did pirates take over the ship during the night?  I knew this would happen…

That’s the first thing I saw when I looked out my window and it wasn’t until I saw the bigger picture that I was able to calm down.  I don’t know what  any of the paintings mean, but apparently you’re not cool in Skagway if you don’t represent graffiti-style on the mountains. 

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Skagway is a quaint little town with not too much to do as a tourist if you don’t take the 4-hour train ride, so we were left to our own ideas for entertainment. 

The town of Skagway isn’t but about half a mile or so from where we docked, so we enjoyed a leisurely stroll.  In the rain, of course.  It was during this time, we noticed that Danette, Kay and I all had the same shoes on.  How cheesy are we?!?!

Once we hit the populated area {and I use the term populated loosely,} we noticed a streetcar tour we could have taken, but we still chose to find our own sources of entertainment.  I mean, there were only like 4 streets in the town, I don’t really think we needed a streetcar to take us on a tour.  However, it was a super cool looking vehicle.

 

On our own adventure, our first stop was of course the shops.  Same stuff, new town.  Except, we were able to find a few little gems. 

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We stopped for a coffee and continued perusing the streets of Skagway.  It was a quiet town, and I have to admit, it was nice to take a break from all the rushing around and just take my time to not really do anything.

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However, I wouldn’t have complained if I had an awesome mountain camping adventure planned with one of these bad boys! As soon as I saw these, I was no longer happy with my lackadaisical day, and was suddenly jealous.

But no worries, we soon picked up speed and headed over to the Klondike Gold Dredge to pan for some gold. 

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Suddenly I feel like singing.

 I wanna know where da gold at.  Gimme da gold.  I want da gold!

We were given a pan of dirt and had to complete the act of proper sifting in order to separate the gold from the sand.  It was really more frustrating than anything else. 

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But at the end, I found da gold!  See that eensy teensy itty bitty titty tiny bit at the bottom?  Dat’s my gold, fool.

We collected it and weighed it, and I think I panned like ten dollars and some change worth of gold.  I’ve even got a certificate to prove it.   However, Danette was the winner winner chicken dinner with over twenty-three dollars worth of gold.  High roller!

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All that work panning for gold created a large appetite the bellies, so we headed on over to the recommended Skagway Fish Company for some more chowder and of course….beer!  We also played a trivia game with the beer coasters, but that will be it’s own post. 

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We were due back to the boat around late afternoon, so after eating we decided to stroll on back.  We boarded the ship and set sail once again.

 

Another evening spent watching the amazing world pass us by.

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It was a nice, peaceful day.  Nothing too exciting, but a pleasant day spent in a place most people don’t ever get to see.

However, walking back to our rooms for the night, we did get to enjoy a good laugh.  The photographers on the boat take tons of pictures with the most-heinous props and backgrounds.  Then they print ALL of them out and put them on display, you know, just in case you want to buy them.  {Or steal $4000 worth of them, Indian Ocean.}  We first started picking out pictures of strangers and sharing a giggle…

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…and then….

Oh.Holy.Effing.Shit.

A sudden flashback to the night we got real real drunk.  You know, that night we hijacked the piano bar?  Apparently, we also may have posed for pictures… 

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Seeing that was all I needed as the perfect nightcap.  Goodnight all.  See you tomorrow in Sitka. 

Oh, Jew Know….

So, remember the time that I went to Alaska?  Oh, jew don’t?  Well that’s probably because I’ve done such a horrible horrible job telling the story.  But to refresh your memory, jew know it was only last month that I was there. 

Recap here:

The ‘Early’ Beginning of Our Journey

Welcome Aboard Wednesday

Inside Cruisin’

Catch Me If You Can, Alaska

and

Remember The Night We Hijacked a Piano Bar?

Next stop? Oh jew know,  it was just to the capitol, Juneau.  This day tops the list as my favorite days in Alaska as there was so much we did in one short day. 

Chris, Danette, Zoe, Trevor and I had plans to do the zip line at 12:30, so we had a little time to explore the city before heading on our big adventure. 

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Turns out, Juneau is the hometown of many of the cast members from The Deadliest Catch and when they come back from sea, they drop their crab pots off and head to the bar, The Hanger on the Wharf.

I’ve seen my fair share of The Deadliest Catch but until I was standing next to one of the pots, I didn’t realize the monstrosity of those things.  {It’s really cool to close your eyes in pictures – Bee.Tee.Dub.}

 

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After perusing the shops of Juneau {and purchasing this totally suh-weet leopard print vest with a soft authentic fur trim,} we split from the group and began our journey towards the zip lines.  We boarded a boat that took us across a small channel to the other side of the mountains, where we pulled right up on the rocks to get out.  You had to climb down a small ladder and jump to the shore, hoping you could make a steady landing on a bed of rocks. 

We were lead to a cabin on stilts, where we were suited up, met our guides and were given instructions on the course.   We looked mighty fine in our gear!

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We were loaded up on some sort of industrial Mercedes off-road vehicle to haul us up part of the mountain. 

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At a half-way point, we had to get up and hike the remaining altitude. 

Finally, we got to the top landing where we were able to climb up on a platform and receive final instructions before zipping off into the forest.  I was the first one to do the practice zip and I have to admit, I was a little nervous.

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We completed 9 zip lines and 2 sky bridges, all suspended at least 150 feet in the air and stretching up to 870 –something feet in length.   I can’t even begin to describe what an amazing experience that was.  I highly recommend it to any and every one!  Seriously!!! DO.IT.

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Since I was the first one at the platforms for many of the zips, I was able to get some suh-weet video footage of the others (Danette, Chris, Zoe & Trevor) coming through. I really love how Zoe tries to body slam our instructor.  Way to bring the heat, lady!

Luckily, they tied our cameras to us so that we could bring them with us on the course.  I tried several attempts but this is the best I could get of what I saw zipping through the trees.  I would hold up my camera as long as I could until I had to break, and then I’d throw it down to dangle at my side.  Chris was able to do the same, however he’s smarter than me and actually was able to get his face in the video. 

There were two sky bridges also included on the course, and if the person in front of you was kind enough, {ahem, Danette} she could jump and make your walk quite wobbly. 

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Being that I am extremely clever, I found a way to keep my camera tucked into my boobs and held somewhat still by the straps of my harness so that I could capture what it was like to walk on that bridge.  I hope you enjoy Danette’s ass. :)

Once we had completed the zip course, we had one final task and that was to repel off the last platform.  So cool.

We all survived and had an absolutely fabulous time!!!   We even received medals at the end for our big achievement.

We then enjoyed the scenery while we waited for the boat to come pick us back up.

 

After grabbing a quick bite to eat, we went to meet our tour guide Erich, who promised to give us his own extended version of a private tour.  Let me say it was totally worth it.  Loved having a private tour and leaving all the towels behind.

He took us to a point on the other side of the water so we could look back over downtown Juneau.  If you look in the middle of the picture, that big white house is the Governor’s Mansion where Sarah Palin lived...  kind of.

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Next stop on the tour was to the Mendenhall Glacier and Steep Creek Trail.  We could walk along these paths to explore different parts of this park and I kept seeing these signs. 

I’ve always kind of wondered if they put those signs there just to scare people, because really, is a bear really going to just pop up out of no where? 

Well, yes.  Yes they do!

With the ridiculously large and colorful salmon swimming in crisp streams, of course there were bound to be bears just ready to feed.

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While winding along these paths, you got a nice view of the glacier and the chunks of ice breaking off from it. 

Once we made our way down to the water, we were able to then get our hands on actual pieces of the glacier.  I tried to save a piece and bring it back to Blayne so she could hold it, but it just got too damn cold.  Brrrrr….

{Please forgive my awesome chipped nail polish.}

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Somehow, and despite the ridicule we received afterwards from the others, Keith and I found our way down a path, meeting locals along the way.  They informed us that if we kept walking, we could get really close to the glacier and this humongous waterfall – so of course, we marched on.  Honestly, I know I’ve said this plenty of times before, I really don’t even know how to describe the amazing scenery.  The feeling I had just knowing that I was at this huge waterfall in The-Middle-Of-Nowhere, Alaska was totally surreal. And the noises.  OMG – it was so loud!  I don’t know if I have any other life experience that is comparable to that. 

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With the group waiting on us, we had to jog at a rapid pace back to the van just so we could head to our next stop: The Shrine of St. Therese, which was located on this beautiful peninsula.   Being probably the only Catholic in the group, I most-likely was the most-interested in this visit, but again, I can’t describe the feeling to walk through the dark damp woods and how soft the ground was beneath your feet.  We all agreed that it felt like what it must feel like to be in a forest of a Disney movie.  It was crispy and cool, a damp fog surrounded us, it was quiet and peaceful, and every step you took was just so soft and innocent.  I loved it!

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There were little paths wrapping around the chapel that would lead to different displays of the 14 Stations of the Cross.  It was very cool.

I took a video so you could get a feel for how it felt to walk through the forest and to see how cool these 14 stone monuments were, but since I was in a hurry, I didn’t stop and focus in on them enough for you to be able to understand the the meanings.   At least I was able to focus on the roman numerals counting them in order. 

 

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Back to the van we went for our final stop at the fish hatchery.  It was really cool to see the ladder system they used to lure in the fish.  Jew know how fish like to swim up stream? This is ultimately what the fish think they’re doing.

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Once all the little fishies make their way up the ladder, they are then collected in a large pool.  There were TONS and TONS and TONS of fish! All you could see were little fins sticking out of the water and fish jumping like crazy!  And have I mentioned yet that they were HUGE?!?!?

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With this little experience finishing off the day, we were all exhausted.  I don’t think we got back to the ship until about 8:00 that night and we got off the ship nearly 12 hours earlier.  It was a jam-packed day, but we got to see and do so much.  Once back on the boat, we skipped dinner in the dining room, and I don’t know about the rest of them, but I showered and fell fast asleep. 

Next stop: Skagway!