Thank You For Not Smoking!

We like to keep the limited amount of couth and tact we possess reserved for family holidays, such as yesterday. But you know how that works, after being proper for 5 minutes, it all runs out and we're left alone with our crazies. And a lot of alcohol.

This is how Thanksgiving for 17 people at the Stanga house goes:

Daddy -

Dear Father,

We would like to thank you for all the blessings you have bestowed upon us......

......to share such a wonderful day with our family and friends.......

......blah blah Jesus blah.......something about the Holy Spirit.......

Amen.

Chris - Mike, this turkey looks great. Did you smoke it outside?

Daddy - Yeah. I put it in the smoker last night and let it go for 16 hours. Should be pretty flavorful.

Scott - Dad, you're a pole smoker.

{Giggles from various directions. Completely blank look on Molly's face.}

Molly - What's a pole smoker?

Chris - Molly, you're 32 years old and don't know what pole smoking is?

Lane - Yeah, you know.... Smoking the pole.....

Molly - Ohhhh.....I get it! Smoking the pole. Like poultry. The turkey. Smoking the turkey.

{Crickets}

Scott - Um, no. Not exactly.

Molly - Is it illegal?

Danette - Oh god, it should be illegal!

{Visualizations begin}

Molly - Huh?

{Crickets}

Ohhh.....gotcha. Sick. Dad's a pole smoker?

Oh sweet, sweet, halfway innocent sister. It's really funny to watch her discover the world around her...kind of like watching Claire.

But there was a few sweet, innocent things that came out of Thanksgiving. Claire got to spend time with her two aunties.
Oh, and Auntie Abby and Uncle Scotty too!
Too bad we didn't get a picture with her Nonnie & Tini or her mommy and daddy. She wasn't too keen on the pictures for very long - baby girl has her first cold. I hope everyone enjoyed their holiday as much as we did!

Onto Christmas!

Counting My Blessings

This is by far one of my favorite holidays, and I feel so blessed to be able to celebrate what treasures I have in my life.


1. My re-established Faith - We played a little game of 'Hide-N-Seek' for a while, but eventually (and thankfully) we found each other again.

2. My Parents - For always taking time out of their busy schedule to make us feel special. For always loving us, no matter what we did. For instilling such a strong value of family. For being the great role models they are. For loving each other. For laughing with us.


3. Molly - For always being there to challenge AND support me. For always giving me a reason to laugh. For never giving me your ID. For always being one step ahead of me. For being so similar, yet so different from me. For never forgetting those silly little fights we got into as kids. For that one time you threw water on me. For keeping my secrets.

4. Mark & Scott - For ganging up on me. For being the older, rough and tough brothers. For being 'my boys.' For being super protective of me. For being an influence of my decisions. For the foul language you have taught me. For allowing me to be me. For the times you cried for me. For getting me drunk that one time always watching over me.

5. Abby & Maegan - For loving my brothers. For forgiving our crazies. For further enriching our family. For new friendships and siblings. For girl power. For your patience. For getting my mom off our backs.

6. Claire - For being you. For showing me a new kind of love. For bringing such joy to my brother's face. For your butt chin. For being the first grandchild. For the smiles you bring each and every one of us. For being the new Stanga Train Caboose.

7. Friends - For each being so different from one another. For making me want to be a better person. For allowing my mistakes. For the memories. For the inside jokes. For inspiring me. For being a phone call away. For keeping me laughing. For your honesty.


8. Pets/Animals - For giving my mom a mission and purpose in life. To bring frequent pleasure(and frustration) to our family. For being great companions. For giving us something to joke about.

9. Personal Blessings - My education and future learning. My career for giving me an opportunity to become completely independent of anyone else, giving me something to be able to do each and every day and allowing me to provide nice things for myself and the ones I love. My home for being a warm, familiar place where I can relax and appreciate my life.

10. Holidays - For giving me something to look forward to. For those days off of work. For giving us a reason to drink eat a lot. For being able to give back. For allowing my close family and friends to get together and celebrate. For oyster dressing. For making it a special family tradition.


11. The Less Fortunate - For keep on keepin' on. For illustrating strength and endurance. For showing me what happiness really is. For making me want to do something for others. For keeping me in touch with reality. For your personal stories and heart-felt feelings. For inspiring me to be a better, selfless not selfish person. For keeping your Faith.

{Please note, I don't necessarily mean less fortunate in a strictly monetary meaning. Also, I'm not thankful that there are less fortunate people, I'm just thankful that if there have to be some - I'm glad I can learn through their courage.}

12. Me - {Not in a cocky way, folks!} - For my health. For the amazing opportunities I have experienced. For being so blessed in many ways. For any sort of enjoyment I may have brought to anyone's life. For my life!

Wishing everyone a very blessed and happy Thanksgiving.



*It is right to give thanks and praise!*

(Okay, seriously - that's what just came out of my mouth when I ended this post. Nothing like a little subliminal Catholic prayer to pop out when you least expect it.)

I Pass Over the Honor

First it was Queen of the Jews and now this? What is this world coming to?

This morning, I was regrettably informed that I am no longer the title-holder for the DB Award. My father should be jumping with joy though, since the honor remains in the family.

I guess I have a lot of work to do here soon, in order to receive both my Queen Jew and Dumb Bitch titles back!

Molly - OMG!!! Are you ready for this...?

Me - OMG!!! Uhh, I don't know. Am I?

Molly - So I have been sitting in the library listening to an online lecture ALL morning...

Me - ...

Molly - ...and I was just listening along w/ my headphones. My friend just walks up 3 HOURS LATER and says, 'You know that is playing out loud, right?' I had the earplugs in the wrong hole. And it was LOUD!!!

Me - Wait, you thought you were hearing through the headphones, but really it was just the loud speakers?

Molly - Yes! OMG - people probably HATE me.

Me - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You, my lady, are now the title holder for the DB Award. Congratulations!

Molly - I'm crying laughing over here.

Me - You dork!

See Daddy, Molly isn't the smartest tool in the shed either. Nor is she the sharpest...

I'm Being Stalked!!!

Ok, seriously people - it's true. I have a stalker.

Am I scared? No!
Am I nervous? No!
Am I creepd out? No!
Am I super pumped? Yes!

I love being blog-stalked. Well, for the most part anyway, unless your 'name' begins with an L and you reside on the Side of River.

However, getting a comment from anonymous does not help me answer anyone's question directly. My my, you sure are sneaky! :) But I'll try to answer as best I can.

*I stalk. I like it best long...very pretty. What is this "thinning out" you speak of? I am intrigued. I have thick, ratty hair and I love how it looks long...for exactly one day at a time, the day I leave the salon after my girl styles it. Once I get home and attempt a recreation...disaster. "Thinning out"...hmm. Is there hope?

Much like you, anonymous, my hair is done for exactly two days before it looks like shit again. Day one is the day I get it cut, day two is the day after. (You can't wash this mane every day.) See, look - today is day 3 and like I predicted ... ponytail!

I too understand the dilemma of 'thick, ratty hair.' Mix in some curls, pour in some humidty - you've got the essential recipe for disaster, lady! I mean seriously, what the hell is this about?

Or this?

Or this?

Or this?

Or OH. MY. GOD. this?

Now after seeing all that, are you for real going to come at me with your hair problems? But if you still are, it is totally necessary to get your hair thinned (just like it's NOT in these pictures.)

I don't really know how to explain it, all I say when I go get my hair did is "Can you please thin it out? A lot!"

It may also be called texturing, but I hardly believe I need any sort of texturing, so I still call it thinning. I know there are two different methods - one really works well for me, one sucks sour lemons! The method my lady uses on my hair, looks like this - shearing from the vertical angle . Using this method really allows the layers to blend in to one another and gives it the ability lay flat, rather than stacking outwards to the sky. The way that doesn't work for me is cutting across an entire section of hair horizontally. I can always tell when this is the way it was done, because it looks choppy.

I mean, I'm no expert, I just know what works for me. If I would only take the time to get it done more often, society wouldn't be exposed to my mop pictured above nearly as often.

Eeek, I hope this helps. I mean, I've never been asked for hair advice before... (and I clearly understand why not.)

Head Start

Little Miss Claire is already contemplating which career path she would like to head down. I mean, it's never too early to start having goals and dreams, is it?

She likes to sing a lot with her mom, so a career in music would be a nice fit. Only, Mommy Maegan likes to sing pretty lullabies and relaxing tunes, and I think Claire might have a different approach to music...

Or, she could go a totally different direction and become the world's first Baby Executive. Her Tini is helping her practice her business strategies and 'guzzintas' every morning. She is so smart, she already knows:
* two guzzinta four, two times
* two guzzinta six, three times
* two guzzinta eight, four times. Whatever she chooses to do in life, I know she'll be quite the success.

50/50 Chance

It's a split chance that this day can be recorded on the books as being either good or bad. I guess it's basically dependent upon how the rest of my afternoon and evening goes.

1. Woke up to my favorite little monster talking to her 'friends' in her crib. Yay!

2. Had to start my day with a trip to the dentist. Boo!

3. Had a good report from the dentist. Yay!

4. Realized my dental insurance hasn't been covering ANY portion of my cleanings. Boo!

5. Got my weave did at lunch. Yay!

6. These cramps feel like I'm giving birth to: a) my uterus b) my large intestine c) a moose Boo!

************

Ok, in reference to #5 - I need some input. Family, friends, blurkers - don't be scared to comment. My mom sure isn't afraid to be perfectly blunt with with she thinks, why should you be?

I'm contemplating growing my hair out, but I've never been very successful. Every time I've tried, I haven't done the appropriate "thinning out" so it always turns into a big 'ole mop. Today, I just got at trim with a little bit of shaping and a whole lotta thinning to see if I could manage it at least at this length if not longer. Mind you, if keeping true to form of the past several months, it'll just be in a ratty ponytail and/or headband every single day anyway. So I need your thoughts?

This is my hair today, after the newest cut.

This is my hair after my haircut in July. Mind you, this is an awful picture of the short hairstyle, but what do you think? Should I try my hand at long locks? {No comments on how I look, just the hair, please! ;) }

PS - Mom, no comments necessary from you - I'm pretty sure I know that you'd say.

Car Conversation

Yesterday, Mom and I had to run to Kroger super quick before our day of sorry ass very unfortunate football began. This is how the 45 second ride to Kroger went.

Mom: Hey, can I tell you something?'

Lane: Oh god, what?

Mom: I don't like your hair like that.

Lane: What?

Mom: It's too severe. I'm sorry.

Lane: No, I'm sorry for being a disappointment. Here, luckily I have a hat in here. *I grab my camo hat and put it on to prevent further disgust*

Mom: What's that on your hat?

Lane: Oh, it's a little lamp that I can use to see in the dark when we're outside at the ranch. See, look... *Turn light on*

Mom: Oh that is so cool. I really need one of those. That's what I want for Christmas!

Lane: What in the crap do you want this for?

Mom: So I can have a special hat to wear in the backyard when I let the dogs out in the middle of the night to see if they pooped.

And I have never been so thankful that the commute to Kroger was only 45 seconds long.

Our Story (cont.) - The Drive In

New to this series? Catch up.
Our Story
First Dates

Yes, the drive-in movie theater is where my mom first laid eyes on daddy, but the term 'drive-in' is quite ambiguous for this couple.

Further into the relationship, my dad liked to play jokes on my mom. She tends to be timid, a goody two shoes and not very adventurous, and of course my dad took full advantage of that.

One evening, they were driving down by the river bank, and my dad decided it'd be pretty funny to give my mom quite the scare by pretending to drive down the boat ramp into the water. My mom was having none of it, throwing a fit, telling him to stop driving. He just wanted to scare her a little, but had all intentions of stopping when it got a little too close for comfort. So what did he do?

He drove the car down the ramp.

Too far into the water, accidentally.

The car sunk.

Mission accomplished.

Defeated

Today, I have been defeated. My reign as Queen of the Jews is over. Someone else has taken the almighty spot. Someone with poofy hair, overly-sized sunglasses and a gray scarf. I don't personally know who that someone is, but fear not. I will take all necessary action to reclaim my title!

I was standing in line at Target's Guest Services counter, because I had to retrieve my door doormats that weren't put in my basket yesterday after I purchased them. Grrr, nothing makes me more irritated than to have to take an extra trip on my lunch hour back to Target. (Y'all are all rolling your eyes I know. And when I went back...I got something else that I can't wait to wear!) So I'm patiently waiting my turn behind this 'someone,' and I start observing what she is doing.

"I was in here a few days ago and I bought this stuff, but I need to return it all."

So I'm thinking maybe she spent too much money on unnecessary frivolous items. Not the case, friends, not the case at all. She starts taking everything under the sun out of her shopping bags to rack up a credit of over $500! I'm talking electric men's razor, toilet paper, tampons, vitamins, 6 pack of socks, can of Pringles, air fresheners, detergent, Swiffer, g-string, kids shoes, pack of gum, magazine, wrapping paper, playing cards...whatever you can think of in the whole entire world, name it and I swear she was returning it.

While the cashier is scanning all the merchandise and the receipt, I see this chick start looking at the brochure for the Target credit card. You know, when you apply for the credit card the first time, you get 10% off your purchase...

So you're telling me, she hauled all that crap back to the store, returned it and was going to have them re-ring it all up, this time with an application for the store credit card? For a $50 savings?

I tell you, I'm cheap, but my schnoz isn't that big. To me, that sounds like a bigger pain the ass than finding a way to enjoy spending that extra fifty dollars.

I bow down to you and I pass over the title, hands down lady. Hands down.

Weekend Countdown

of random, unrelated topics (in no particular order.)

10. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
* I am known to have a sick, sick obsession with those delightful little nuggets of greatness. This weekend I ate one and realized that it didn't taste that great, and I immediately regretted eating it. Could it be possible for me to grow out of the pleasure I once got from those sweet morsels of phenomenal taste? I don't think so, but maybe...


9. Mizz.Urr.Ugh.
*AKA Missouri. Marty is very excited about his upcoming hunting/camping trip with all his manly pals over Thanksgiving. It was a common topic of conversation this past weekend, as it has been for the last several weeks. His family is all excited for him to get this opportunity in Mizz.Urr.Ugh.


8. Game Camera.
*He keeps a motion-censored digital game camera posted up near his feeder so he can monitor what type of game comes through the area at what times. You get a plethora of pictures of nothing, or of an actual live animal, whether it be a coon, squirrel, deer, bird, hog, turkey, fox, coyote or cow. It's pretty interesting actually to see what comes across our paths when we're not looking. When we check the game camera to see what had developed in the last week, I couldn't help but laugh at this picture. I think he's trying to tell us to Eat Mor Chikin.


7. Gear.
*I now have some pretty official gear for these little trips to the ranch I take. I've always had some camo, even if it was sparkled with rhinestones, but I'm pretty official now with 'real gear.' Including my handy-dandy hat light.

6. Presents.
*He was mighty impressed with my domestic capabilities and really liked all his presents. Even his boxed mashed potatoes and 4-pack of biscuits he got to unwrap. I think he cheated, because he guessed what the biscuits were, when he saw them in the fridge. In wrapping paper. With a bow.

5. I Don't Guess.
*Does anyone recognize this phrase? I can't even begin to count the number of times I heard that this weekend. I always make fun of M for saying it so much, and I've realized his mom uses the term too, but I had no idea his ENTIRE family said it.
- We don't have any more pigs in a blanket left, I don't guess.
- I don't remember anything about that, I don't guess.
- I've never really thought much about it, I don't guess.
- Those snakes don't like the cold too much, I don't guess.

Anything you can imagine, just add 'I don't guess' to the end of it and it will totally work. Oh how my life was enriched when I was first introduced to this gem. It brings a smile to my heart every time I hear it now.

4. Deer Stand.
*I sat in my own little deer stand last night, so he could use his single-seat tri-pod stand to see what came to that area. I wasn't serving any purpose being on my own except for scouting out what came out at what times. I guess I'm just the informant. Turns out, it was a pretty slow night on my side of the land. I sat there for 2 hours exactly before I spotted any sort of movement. At 5:40, I saw two doe appear off in the distance, but they never came in too close. Good thing I was occupied for those two hours. (*and M, if you're reading this, I would read a paragraph. Stop. Look around with the binoculars. See nothing. Read another paragraph. Do it all over again. I DID PAY ATTENTION!)

3. Sibling Rivalry.
*Apparently, it never ends. Even when you're 61 and 70 years old, you can still find something to bicker about. Simple as it may be, you can find reason to bicker about a bulletin board full of pictures, or who so-and-so (that you aren't related to and in no way will you benefit from,) is going to divide her assets when she dies.

2. Nature.
*In a few senses of the word. It's almost scary how I've gotten so incredibly used to having to use the facilities outdoors. There is no hesitation to pop a squat anymore. I'm pretty proud of myself.

1. Emotion.
*He asked me why I was crying last night when we said goodbye. It's not like we don't have to say goodbye 395726 million times a month since we live 2 hours apart, but this time it was different. He told me not to cry, that I'd be back soon enough. 5 days soon enough, but still... This time was just not the same as the other times. I was so looking forward to his birthday weekend for over a week prior. I took so much time and effort (and enjoyed every second of it) to help him have a really good day on his 29th birthday, and then it was just over. Just like that, all the excitement I had (which was far more than he had for turning another year older,) but with a few quick shreds of wrapping paper, all the mysteriousness and fun was gone. Well not all the fun, but a lot of it. I want my weekend back. Not next weekend, but this past weekend. I want it back and for it to last longer. Maybe if I would have gotten him more gifts to open, it would have lasted a bit longer... :*(

Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday to two very special people.





Marty turns 29 today and Jen turns 26.





Wow - getting older, folks!

Toot Toot

What was that? Oh nevermind, that was just the sound of my own horn.

*Toot Toot*

So I'm back to being a Domestic Diva, or a DD in Training, or crap maybe I just have the skills of an apprentice. Or a five year old.

Last year, I really tried to impress Marty by making his favorite cookie cake for his birthday and had my first attempt with molding fondant. I don't claim to be an artist (did you see my cartoon drawing in the post below???) so I guess I can't say I was actually surprised when nobody could tell what it was that I tried to recreate. But seriously though, to give myself some credit, making 3-d figures out of that crap was not as easy as you may think. Unlike Ace of Cakes, I didn't spend my childhood playing with clay.

So this go around, I promised myself (and him) that I'd make a cake that would top last year's. I really like to set the bar high for myself. I knew that fondant wasn't the way to go, so I would try my hand at using icing and tips. Alright, alright - this is a total amateur cake, but I'm pretty damn proud of myself for it being the first cake I've ever tried to make look decent. Usually I just bake a boxed cake, never take it out of the pan and leave a fork in the baking dish for when I'm ready for my next bite, so this is really a step forward.

Little did I know this was going to be such a process. A week long process.

Thankfully Danette informed me that I can make my homemade icing up to two weeks prior to using it and that it will stay nice and fresh the whole time. Fabulous. So Monday night, I got to whipping and churning and mixing and I got my homemade icing. But it was white. So I had to get out the fancy icing dyes I had gotten and start mixing in colors. You think you put a lot of color in your mix, but once you mix it up, you realize it hardly even turned colors. There was a LOT of mixing involved. Wednesday night, I decided I should go ahead and bake the cakes to allow them time to cool and such. I baked two cakes to layer them with icing in between. Yes, the bottom cake isn't as tall as the top cake, but that's because I had to "modify" it a little bit. Oh, give me a break - it's my first time. So last night was the final chore in this very time-consuming process. It was time to get my icing baggies, couplers, tips and icing and start to decorate my cake. Damn, did my hands get tired of all that squeezing. If you look real closely (please don't) I got really tired on the sides, so they aren't that neat. Who am I kidding, they're not neat at all, but he won't notice or care. I had originally intended on putting a deer-shaped cookie on top but the cookie baked into some puffy mess and all the details of the deer were just lost. Luckily, I had a back up plan.

Later last night when he called me, I told him he owes me big time for spending TWO HOURS in a mess more commonly known as cake icing. He doesn't know what it looks like, he just knew I spent a lot of time on it. Funnily enough, I spent more time trying to mold that damn fondant last year than I did icing a cake. Either way, his response was

"2 hours? You spend 2 hours on a cake? I'm not worth that much!"

Yeah, no shit! But I didn't have the heart to tell him it really took a week, not just two hours. He better be proud of me.

Our Story (Cont.) - First Dates

*If just tuning in to this phenomenal story, please first catch up with Our Story before continuing.*

It is still unknown to all, even my own mom herself, about how in the world my dad ever managed to get her to agree to go on even one date with him. I'll tell you right now, that is how I know there is a God. It is He who holds the only power strong enough to convince my mom to sit down to dinner with Mike Stanga.

*Sign of the Holy Cross. Amen!*

It was much to my mom's friends' amazement (and my dad's friends') that she went as far as to commit to a second date with him. And no, my mom has never touched the crack pipe (even though we've suspected it a time or two...) So when asked what it was that my mom found even remotely non-offensive about Michael, she has always said that he made her laugh more than anyone she's ever met. That's my father - true to form! I will admit, he is by far one of the funniest people I know. I guess humor outweighs a lot of bad physical character traits, and hygiene traits... And Lord knows it wasn't his ultra-hip, uberly-suave apartment at LSU that impressed my mom either. This plush pad was something he shared with two other fellas for a grand total of $40 a month. Not $40 each, but $40 total - split 3 ways. Definitely a top notch living accommodation if you ask me!

After a few occasions of spending time together, I guess you could say that my dad was definitely 'courting' my mom. Is that a term they used back then in the seventies? Or were they going steady? Either way, it was time for my dad to pick my mom up, greet her parents and take her to a BBQ gathering with friends. He's not just one, two or three hours late...he was FOUR HOURS LATE. My grandparents were, needless to say, beyond pissed and demanded that my mom was not allowed to go after that point. What on earth was my dad's excuse? Well, hmm let's see...my dad was responsible for bringing the BBQ pit to the party, but how was he going to get it there.

DING! *Light bulb moment*

He decided to borrow his buddy's car old school, 3-wheeled mail truck he bought to use as his car, to tow the BBQ pit. And when I mean tow, I really mean pull with a string.


So the reason he was four hours late is totally valid and excusable. He had to drive disgustingly slow on the highway from Abita Springs to Covington, because the wheels on the BBQ pit weren't that big or sturdy enough to travel very fast. Plus, he didn't want the whole thing to tip over or for his rope to break. Whoever dismissed my dad's application for Mensa is probably beating themselves with a stick right now. Man, they sure did miss out on an fabulous candidate!

After hearing my dad's plea, my grandparents took one look at the rigged towing situation they were dealing with and basically told him in a very eloquent, classy, tactful, social elite way to go eff himself. And they were as sincere and nice as can be with that. However, my mom probably rebelled for the first and only time in her life, and still went with my dad to the party. Bitching the whole way I'm sure.

If this doesn't say budding romance, I don't know what does. Stay tuned...

Planning In Advance

With only four and a half months left to plan and get our St. Patty's Day Parade float together, and because it needs to be bigger and better than last year, it was totally necessary for us to begin brainstorming ideas for this years theme. Need to revisit 2008's Parade float? CLICK HERE!

Thanks to Kacy for doing some initial research on possible options.

Ode To B-HAMP
Ode To B-HAMP 2

We've narrowed down some pretty amazing videos, and it was discussed with the Executive Planning Committee at happy hour last week. Right there on the patio of Addison's On The Border, we had a presentation of YouTube videos with a laptop and portable speakers. We're all business, all the time!

So far, the idea is to dedicate this years float to Ricky Bobby, or The Ricky Bobby

We were debating how we could decorate the float and such, and then we figured that during the stops, we'd all jump off the float and perform The Ricky Bobby, kind of like doing a Chinese Fire Drill. Wouldn't that be totally phenomenal?

Wait, wait - brilliant idea making way! Let's ask B-Hamp himself to be on our float. Last year we asked Big Al from Kiss FM to be our token black guy, but unfortunately, he was already being the MC of the parade so he couldn't do it.

Anyway, how were we going to get close enough to B-Hamp to request his presence on our float? Turns out, his official website MySpace page said he was holding a concert in Plano at the Douglass Community Center on Saturday night. I immediately messaged Kacy saying we had to go. I've been there before...once...to hand out black Barbies to the little kids at Christmas time. And just like that, it was on the books for 8pm Saturday night. We figured after the concert (of his one and only song he's been working on for FOUR YEARS,) we'd get the chance to speak with him and get to know him a little better. We really were looking to ease our way into a friendship with him so we could later ask him to be on our float. When we found out that there was going to be a guest appearance performing Da Stanky Legg, we knew we had to make this a night to remember.

My mom thought we were outside our minds to be going to this 'concert' and was fearful for our lives. She made sure we were prepared to protect ourselves, so we each had to have certain items in our purse: mace and a flashlight.
We were definitely dressed to impress and Kacy even got a sweet Flirty Babe silk jacket. It was PHAT!

Now what kind of ghettofabulous hoodrats would we be if we left without taking the official DILIH (drop it like it's hot) picture in front of our pimp ass ride. So I know you're all on the edge of your seats waiting to read about how this all went down. It really can't be told any better than it has been by Kacy.

And just so you know, since texting the picture of ourselves, we still haven't gotten a response. Guess that's a no for white chicks.

Don't worry B-Hamp, I've got your number. You'll be hearing from us again soon!

Our Story

I'll be the first to admit I am a total blurker on tons of different blogs. Usually, I just skip around to different links on my friends' blogs to start reading about the lives of others until I actually believe I know these people. A common trend I've begun to find is people having special sections dedicated to "their story." How We Met, Our First Date, How He Proposed, Our Wedding, How We Got Pregnant (by bumpin' uglies, that's *usually* how) and Watch Our Family Grow.

I don't have my own story yet, perse - but since this initially started as a blog to keep up on family matters, before my oh-so eloquent nonsense took this in a random new direction, I decided to tell 'Our Story' - how this train has been chuggin along Route Crazy since the 70's.

My mom was a stunning young lady with debutante-like qualities from a well-off community just off the north shore of New Orleans. Being a member of the country club and having a very distinguished father, she was also offered the honor to attend the Olympian Mardi Gras Parade as the Queen.

During one of her last years of high school, she went with one of her girlfriends to the drive-in movie. Her friend mentioned that she'd like to introduce her to someone by the name of Mike Stanga. My mom had heard this name several times as being quite a character, but had never met him, so she was very eager to actually come face-to-face with this 'legend.' Out of the corner of her eye, there he was, basking in all his glory! Getting warm, fuzzy tingles yet? Sounds kind of like a fairy tale story so far, huh? Something like Princess meets Prince...

What she saw was an unshaven, unkept slob in overalls with his 250+ pound body in a drunken comatose, slumped over backwards on the hood of a car, beer still in hand.

That's Mike Stanga!?!?!?!

I don't think to this day my mom has ever been as disgusted as she was the first night she met my father.

If you're wondering how this story even remotely has a chance at continuing and how in the hell it didn't end right there, stay tuned...

Definition of Worthless

Last Wednesday morning, I got ready for work, opened my bedroom door to leave and suddenly and unsuspectingly tripped over this.
The previous Tuesday night, I put a load of laundry in the dryer before I went to bed, and guess I fell asleep before it finished. My sweet roommate Allison so kindly folded my laundry and left it outside my door.

Fast forward a week to today. I get ready for work, open my bedroom door to leave and I suddenly and unsuspectingly tripped over this.
Look similar? That's because it is. It has been 8 days and I have yet to move that pile of clean clothes and properly put them away. Well, I should get a few days credit since I was out of town Friday, Saturday and Sunday. So, 5 days of stepping over this obstruction in my way, instead of taking the three seconds to move it and call it done.

I should be ashamed of myself. I am. Kind of.

I should put it away. I will tonight. Wait, tonight is happy hour and dinner with the girls.

I will put it away. Tomorrow.

The DB Award

I know it's not really polite to be cocky and brag about yourself, but I just can't even help it. I am once again the top contender for a special little award my dad gives out on very extreme measures.

I'm pretty sure I've got this year's Dumb Bitch Award in the bag!

Do y'all ever eat those Lorna Doone 100-calorie pack cookies? Oh my god, I could eat a whole box of those low-cal packs! Anyway, they really market their nutritional selling points pretty well on the front of the package. Sitting in the deer stand, I start reading them aloud.

Zero grams trans fat.
Three grams fat.
OH. MY. GAWWD!!! CHOLESTEROL!!!

Now, if you were sitting next to me, listening to me say this, you'd probably think -Holy Cow, there must be a lot of cholesterol in those cookies with that reaction. But no. This is what the package actually says:

After stopping to think for a second, then looking at the package again, I realized that I definitely chat, text and email way too much!!! I'm using terms like OMG, WTF and LOL in real life!

I guess I'm not really the smartest tool in the shed after all. Oops, I mean I'm not the sharpest tool.

One Last Time...

Okay, okay - I know y'all are getting sick of this already, but this is the final round! Miss Claire has made it to the Top 5 of Kiss FM's Most Kissable Baby contest. There are definitely some other cuties on there, but we're not biased at all in thinking that Claire Bear is just precious!!!