I know it's not really polite to be cocky and brag about yourself, but I just can't even help it. I am once again the top contender for a special little award my dad gives out on very extreme measures.
I'm pretty sure I've got this year's Dumb Bitch Award in the bag!
Do y'all ever eat those Lorna Doone 100-calorie pack cookies? Oh my god, I could eat a whole box of those low-cal packs! Anyway, they really market their nutritional selling points pretty well on the front of the package. Sitting in the deer stand, I start reading them aloud.
Zero grams trans fat.
Three grams fat.
OH. MY. GAWWD!!! CHOLESTEROL!!!
Now, if you were sitting next to me, listening to me say this, you'd probably think -Holy Cow, there must be a lot of cholesterol in those cookies with that reaction. But no. This is what the package actually says:
I'm pretty sure I've got this year's Dumb Bitch Award in the bag!
Do y'all ever eat those Lorna Doone 100-calorie pack cookies? Oh my god, I could eat a whole box of those low-cal packs! Anyway, they really market their nutritional selling points pretty well on the front of the package. Sitting in the deer stand, I start reading them aloud.
Zero grams trans fat.
Three grams fat.
OH. MY. GAWWD!!! CHOLESTEROL!!!
Now, if you were sitting next to me, listening to me say this, you'd probably think -Holy Cow, there must be a lot of cholesterol in those cookies with that reaction. But no. This is what the package actually says:
After stopping to think for a second, then looking at the package again, I realized that I definitely chat, text and email way too much!!! I'm using terms like OMG, WTF and LOL in real life!
I guess I'm not really the smartest tool in the shed after all. Oops, I mean I'm not the sharpest tool.
I guess I'm not really the smartest tool in the shed after all. Oops, I mean I'm not the sharpest tool.
2 comments:
Oh My Gawd. Laney, you've completely outdone yourself! Sure you're not a blonde imposter??
Greg
OMG! I am ROFL! Your post was gr8! I am a nerd, I know!
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