Me! Always Happens to Me!

Let me just take a small break from all this incredible, blow-your-mind, vividly-detailed blogging I'm doing about my Alaskan adventure {you know, A.L.L. this blogging I'm doing.  I will get better, I promise!} to tell you a short story.

Sure you'll want to scoff, point fingers, and publicly make fun of me on Facebook even, but it's okay. I would do the same thing.  I'm just not sure why this stuff always happens to me!

Let's set up the scenario, shall we?

I might have maybe just possibly told someone that I would bring a surprise over.

Said someone's questioned response was "Jacques-Imo in a thong?"

{thinking: Hmm...not what I had in mind, but pretty damn funny.   Why not?!?!?}

Done. Show up with my cute little homie in a purple thong with the cute black bow on the back T. {Of course it was purple! Don't you know football season is right around the corner....} It was funny, worthy of the laugh I was seeking, it was all good.  

Joke over.  

Put thong in purse.  

{Molly -  I don't need any dirty comment about why my panties were really in my purse, because I KNOW that's where you'll take this!}

Fast forward to today.

Just like clockwork, as soon as I get on the elevator to leave work, I bust out my Burt's Bees and the shades.  It's my elevator routine.  

Only today, I had a spectator for my elevator routine.  A very HOT spectator! 

No bigs, just pretend to act like I didn't notice, just go about my normal business.  

*fling!* 

It's possible that maybe, just maybe, the arm of my glasses might have hooked into the strap of the thong, which then acted like a slingshot for an elastic band of my Jacques-Imo's manties.  

Now I ask you, how the shit do you cover something like that up?

Do you apologize? 

I'm sorry for just catapulting my thong in your face, sir.  

or

They're clean I promise.  Well, kinda.  I mean...uhhhh... they were until I put them on my dog. 

Or do you just deny it? Like look away and run off the elevator like you were never there?

Holy fucking crap!  Somebody shoot me!