I am quickly approaching the year anniversary of getting off my lazy ass and doing something for myself...running. Over the past 11 months, I have learned many many valuable lessons - some were amazing discoveries, other were quite painful.
1. Intense amounts of training each week causes a significant increase in laundry. This is the load for one week of running. Reminder - it's blistering hot outside, so I'm not packing on the layers. I try to wear as little as possible, and I'm still burdened with this insane mess.
2. Amateur runners often make the mistake of wearing any type of athletic/sporty apparel, but you learn quickly that it is uberly important to purchase any type of dry fit, wicking (or whacking as Tory likes to say) material that keeps you drier and cooler. Please note that while those shorts look perfectly acceptable for any type of physical activity, my swamp ass is the perfect example of what not to wear.
However, if you're going to spend a decent amount of money on appropriate running clothes, you might as well have fun with it. Is this obnoxious? I hope not, because I have one in white, purple and yellow. Hey - they were on clearance!
3. It is very important to remember that attending any big bash and consuming massive amounts of alcohol will hinder your ability to run for the following few weeks. I learned this lesson after tying one on pretty well at the Halloween Bash V and I couldn't pick my pace back up for 2.5 weeks. It's totally necessary to cut out all drinking.
4. Oh who am I kidding, the beer is one of the best parts about running in races. If you've just ran a race, it's totally acceptable to be tailgating at 8:30 in the morning without being called an alcoholic!
Another valuable lesson is to wisely choose races that serve beer afterwards. Team Chelada has vowed to never return to Joe Pool Lake's Pumpkin Run because all we got was water. But if all else fails, just bring your own and drink it out of coffee cups. One or two beers isn't going to kill you, it's just the kegstands that kill you.
5. Running through my neighborhood has allowed me to get an up close and personal view of what is exactly decorating our streets. I never really knew how many squirrels were actually smashed to a pulp or how many bird heads you'd see on your trail. Did you know it's acceptable to let your dog poop on sidewalks or streets and you don't even have to clean it up. Premarital sex? Don't want your parents to know? Just throw your condoms in the street on the way home, you're in the clear. Glass bottles shatter in a very interesting pattern. I think it's about time we all take a good close examining to what's really around us.
6. Contrary to popular belief, if you're running outside at 8:00 at night in 98 degree weather, you should NOT have the chills. I know, whoduhthunkit? Apparently, this is called
dehydration. It was one of the most bizarre feelings I have ever experienced. I'm trying to avoid this happening again, because the idea of heat stroke doesn't seem that appealing to me.
7. BODYGLIDE can be a runner's best friend. I used to think that I was invincible to rubbage and whatnot, but I learned that lesson real quick during my first half marathon. Taking off my heart rate monitor really meant taking off my skin. I had a complete section ripped off my
boobs ribs. It was pretty unfortunate for me, but for those around, they they got to see my
boobs ribs. This time around, with training in intense heat and dealing with dry skin, I was unaware of the consequences until now. Honestly, it feels like I'm
shitting sitting on glass and bathing is horrifying! Just a warning, nobody ask to borrow my Glide. On second thought, maybe I'll just invest in my trusty friend,
Boudreaux's concoction - it seriously works for everything. George B will even tell ya himself!
8. Having two pair of the exact same shoes is not weird. I found the pair that I love, and when I found an additional pair on sale for super cheap on the webernets, I decided to order them, so I'll have a backup when my current pair is too worn for long runs.
9. Music really gets me going, and a lot of times, there isn't anything like some real good hip hop or rap to make my legs start moving. But hand to God truth, the most motivating beats for me to run to are any songs from
Rockin Dopsie Jr. & The Zydeco Twisters or any of the
Songs of LSU. I'm being totally serious on this. Something is wrong with me, I know.
10. Don't freak out like I did.
Weight gain can be healthy. I almost lost my shit last week when I went to the doctor and he told me that I had gained 11 pounds since the last time I saw him. How is that possible? I've exercised so much more this past year than I have in my whole life, there is no way I could weigh more. Scales are 'over-weighted,' in determining health and fitness, mirrors and clothes sizes are not.
11. Can you have too much gear? We probably go over the top with what we think is necessary to run, but I swear, this makes running so much easier for me. I feel like I'm strapped up and ready to connect to a NASA satellite when I'm hitting the pavement. Gosh I love technology! (That damn HR monitor strap is the culprit for skinning my
boobs ribs!)
12. You learn to become real comfortable with yourself and your body, and can't be embarrassed by too much, because shit happens. Hah - I really did not intend on that pun, but running causes a lot of different conditions. I've lost or bruised 3 toe nails, which isn't that pretty, and while many people think my shoes are too small, it's just something that happens every now and then. And, you can easily paint a faux nail on your toes, no biggie. Happy hour topics have definitely changed as we're now comparing ailments.
13. The absolute best lesson learned through my running is what I've learned about my friends. We have an amazing group of people that run with us each week, whether in person or remotely (but with us in spirit) and that makes it so much easier to get out there and reach our weekly goals. It totally helps to have really
cheesy sassy team spirit wear too. It's a great motivator. Team Chelada may be a little over the top, but we at least have fun with it. And why do it if you're not having fun?
