Meet Max

I've written time and time again about the nonsense that goes on at my parents house in terms of household pets. When my grandma passed, she left my mom to take care of her beloved Maxie, a huge furry cat. Maxi isn't an ordinary cat, he's 20+ lbs combined with like an additional 15 lbs of hair, meows the most annoying meow ever and it's constant. If it weren't my grandmother's dying wish that Maxi live a great life once she was gone, we wouldn't be putting up with the thing anymore. We're still trying to find a way to work him out of the family.

First of all, This is Maxi.

A few Sundays ago, Maxie mailed my mom a heart-felt letter.

July 13, 2008

Dear Leslie:

Before you say no, just hear me out, OK? Bottom line is, I want to move to Phoenix….as soon as possible. Have you ever heard that “all the fat cats retire to Phoenix?” Well I’m nearing the end of my run and not really serving much purpose here except for aggravating everyone around, so I think it’s time to retire to the desert where I have several friends living there. So it’s not like I don’t know anybody in a new community………I’ll be fine there. Really.

So I need for you to buy me a one-way bus ticket to Phoenix. I know I have money left in my checking account and I would do it myself except for two problems. First, I can’t write. Secondly, if I could, who is going to cash a check for a cat?

I really appreciate your help in moving this along. If it turns out that I don’t like Phoenix after all, I’ll let you know and you can buy me a bus ticket from Phoenix to Virginia to go live with Marianne and the thousands of cats she has living with her. I figure I’ll just blend in………nobody would ever notice.

Anyway, thanks in advance for your help and let me know when the bus leaves for Phoenix. See if you can get me a window seat as I think I’d like to look out the window along the way.

Sincerely,

Maximillian
(Maxi the Cat)

P.S. #1 Nobody put me up to this. I am doing this of my own free will without duress.

After a week without Leslie taking any action, Maxie felt it appropriate to leave a nice reminder on the microwave.
Still, another week gone by, and I see another note from Maxi today at my parent's house. Damn woman, just do what he pleases!

We'll see if she approves his request this week. I'll keep you posted on when the cat actually hops off the Stanga Train.

Side note, as I was typing this, I was blessed with the strongest evidence of why we have too many animals in this house. Marley likes to sit under the desk, at my feet, while I'm working on the computer and today was no different. I hear a heinously gross noise from below and knew what was about to come. Please keep your disgust to a minimum and look closely! It's a pile of puke! Freakin' animals!