Decisions

This morning, I firmly decided on a few things that I officially hate.

1. I HATE When The Saints Go Marching In! Confusing I know, because I am a lover of all things NOLA, Cajun and LSU, but tis true - I HATE the marching Saints. It used to be that when I heard that spectacular tune, I was ready to jump up, grab a Voodoo Mary and pass a good time as I paraded through the 'Quarta.' However, now when I hear those high-pitched notes in the morning as my alarm is going off, I am cursing the existence of the fabulous Louis Armstrong. I don't know that I will ever have the same appreciation for a Satchmo Festival again, due to the daily torments from a once-beloved song. Tragic!

2. I HATE those special items you can by at any home store to make your bed more comfortable. Down pillows, down duvets, down mattress toppers, body billows, knee-knocking pillows and all of the like. Again, this may come as a surprise since I love nothing more than to take a 'snap' in a cozy bed such as my own, but the rude awakening from a feather poking through the linens and stabbing me in my eyeball, my ear, my foot or my rear is hardly worth it. I also once enjoyed being completely surrounded by pillows, in order to avoid a feeling of vulnerability, and I still appreciate it at the beginning of a restful slumber, but when those dang things fall off the bed and I wake up because I suddenly feel 'open,' it ruins my peaceful sleep. My bed is too high to just lean over and retrieve my comfies, so I have to literally get out of bed to walk across the room to pick up the pillows I sucker-punched mid-dream, rearrange all my bedding and wiggle my way back into my spot. And guess what, then I'm awake...for a long time.

3. I HATE light-up disco shows. My phone has this special feature of this insanely bright light blinking all colors of the rainbow whenever the phone rings, I get a message or when the alarm is going off. Let me just tell you - this option is for the birds. There is an occasional appreciation of the light show if I'm driving with my music blaring loud enough to block out any ring tones, so at least my attention is directed towards the phone. I mean, how could you miss it? But, I'll have you know, this feature is just down right asinine when your alarm is going off in the morning. I can silence the Saints all I want every 5 minutes, but even silencing the crowd doesn't shut down 'the club scene' reflecting from my phone. Even through my closed eyelids, I can see the light. Is this what death and approaching the pearly gates looks like? I'm going to go ahead and put this out there...the only real upside to this fascinating light show is if I were working the steel. This bad boy could definitely give me some special staging effects as I perform a trick or two on the stripper pole. Other than that, it's worthless to me!