I Feel Ya T-Pain

I'm in love with a stripper too! Secretly, I have a new found respect for strippers and pole dancers!!!

A couple of weeks ago, we had Abby's Bachelorette Party. She didn't want anything too crazy, nothing with the typical penis parade that is common of a normal 'last night out with the girls.' What I thought would be pretty fun and funny, would be to hire someone to come to the house and give us pole dancing lessons. That is hard work and I definitely want a pole in my house. For the exercise, duh! This is such a great idea for future reference. I can't wait to do it again!

I had no idea what to expect when I hired Joye (the instructor,) but she takes her job seriously. She shows up with this huge industrial piece-together stage and power tools.

Her favorite two quotes were hysterical: "You've got to own your sexy" and "It's time to stroke the steel!" The moves she worked on the pole were pretty dang unbelievable! Kacy's face says it all...

Then go the amateurs. A few of us had to tuck our shirts into our jeans because we were fearful of them flying up if we were in fact able to position ourselves upside down on the pole. Turns out, that is harder than crap and nobody even came close! Abby's shirt did come close to falling down the other way though! :)

Please welcome APHRODISIAC ABBY to the main stage!



Please welcome LANE LICKSALOT to the main stage!



Please welcome SCHLOBBIN ROBYN to the main stage!



Please welcome BOOTYLICIOUS BLISS to the main stage!



Please welcome BEWITCHING BECKY to the main stage!



Please welcome SEDUCTIVE SHAY to the main stage!



Please welcome KAMA SUTRA KACY to the main stage!



Please welcome DONKEY PUNCH DANETTE to the main stage!



Please welcome JEZABEL JANEE to the main stage!



After we finished learning some sultry moves on the pole, it was time to sass it up a bit and learn a little bit of lap and chair dancing.


To end the night, Abby had to sport her Suck for a Buck shirt out to a local bar and see how much money she could earn. I was her pimp and all guys and their money had to go through me first! It was a super fun night, without getting TOO crazy, and the best part is...Abby made $215 from her Suck for a Buck shirt!!! She claims that money will go towards buying a pole for her own house.