On my way to work today, I decided to give Danette and Miss Blayne a call to wish them a Happy Valentime's Day, and Blayne got to tell me all about her day she was going to have. I then told them about my not-so-fun day ahead, and that all I wanted was somebody to give me a Valentine's cupcake. Apparently, I have a tapeworm and have been eating everything in sight!
When I pulled up to work, as usual, the parking lot was full of brand-new, very expensive luxury vehicles. I parked in the spot right next to the prettiest Mercedes and then noticed that they must have spent their last dollar on the car, because they can't afford to buy a Democrat bumper sticker. That or he is a cheapskate who claims he's Democrat but can't throw up a dollar or two to support the campaign. He had 3 of these bad boys plastered to his rear windshield and the two rear-door windows, with the long-lasting packing tape. Some call it thrifty, I call it hilarious!
Once I got to work, I read a new blog that Kacy had posted about Valentine's Day. She included some fabulous memories of last year's ValentiMe's celebration with Jen, Kacy and me. We did it the night before the real day since the next day would be dedicated to the 'Real Valentines.' (Oh who am I kidding, I went home and hung out with my parents, but they at least had plans.) Anyway, we decided to get each other something that was really heart-felt and we would have a gift-exchange over wine and dinner. I was ecstatic when Kacy gave me a light-up fan headband and Jen gave me a Dr. Fart keychain (both bought from the prize counter with hard-earned tickets from Dave & Busters.)
I took a different approach to finding that perfect gift for those two special girls in my life. Justin Timberlake's 'Dick in a Box' had just come out on SNL 2 months prior, and we got such a dick, I mean kick, out of it, so I felt it appropriate to get those girls their very own 'Dick in a Box.'
We're pretty creative (read: retarded) when we're sober, but add a couple of glasses of wine, and we are a good time (read: unbelievably retarded.) Who doesn't think to tape the mini-penis to the fan headband?
After watching the videos, I was laughing so hard (probably not because they're all that funny for real, but just because we're idiots,) I nearly peed my pants and had to rush to the bathroom. On the way back, our receptionist, Vanessa informed me that there were Valentine cupcakes and cookies in the kitchen. OMG - did somebody grant my wish? Now, can I just say I wish someone would give me a lot of money, and they'll do it? I got back to my desk, cookie and cupcake in hand(s) and found a wonderful email from Jen...er, actually it was a Special Message from Dwight on Valentime's Day.
Fact: Valentine’s Day is overrated, and shouldbe banned to the public for the following reason.
One: Wastes valuable paper products on lame cards.
Two: Over stimulates the economy because of over priced flowers.
Three: Chocolate is toxic to dogs, and beets and should not be sold in large quantities.
At lunch, I ran to Target, because what else would I do with some free-time? Being the extreme bargain shopper that I am, I was very excited to find a pack of 3 door safety knobs for toddlers on clearance for $0.74. Of course I bought them, even if Baby Claire is only -4 months old. I also found some small cardboard learning books on clearance for a quarter each. This day just keeps getting better and better! After lunch, I told my mom about my great finds, and she told me that she found a package of outlet plugs last night on clearance for $1.12 instead of $4.99. We are so easily amused, and save money doing it! :) She then informed me that my dad, being the charming husband that he is, gave her some real nice presents: a card, flowers and some odds and ends from around the house. I asked what all that included and she told me she got:
*candy that was already in the house
*fake green decorative grapes that she bought on clearance after Christmas to give to me
*a candy cane leftover from Christmas
*a green metal container they keep pens and pencils in on the kitchen desk
*a dollar from her wallet
Geez, I love that man! I sure hope great things keep happening to me for the rest of the day. I'm sure they will though, since I'm having a special celebration tonight at home with Robyn and Kacy. We really know how to do it right with wine and pizza -
a Papa John's V-Day Special.
1 comment:
Mike always gives the best vday gifts!! Gotta find a guy like that, Laney!!
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