It's All We Know, It's What We Do

Yikes! Where, oh where to begin???

Well, my previous post pretty much covers Saturday morning/lunch, so I can start off with Saturday afternoon. We stopped off at The Bulldog for a refreshing cocktail and then headed to meet some of Mae Mae's friends to watch the Endymion parade. I got to be the first in the family to meet Mae Mae's new homeboy, Larry, and I also got to meet his friends, a great couple Brian (Jack Black's twin personality) and Elaine (adorable lil' spitfire.)

Luckily, they have friends that live along this parade's route, so we partied in their front yard watching the floats and people go by. It was a great time, and the whiskey was tasty! :) I had to pace myself though, as the night was very young and we still had to go home and get ready for the night's main event, once the parade was over.

After Endymion, we rushed home, fancied up with our costumes and headed to the MOMS Ball, which is an exclusive event each year and you have to know someone special to get your tickets. They will without a doubt turn away people at the door if they aren't in sufficient costume. Again, Mae Mae had warned me that this would be pretty racy and risqué and I was to wear a costume that was revealing. Now as posted previously, my lovely sister had volunteered me to be the crocodile from the Peter Pan theme we were doing, and I think I did it pretty well, considering I had a limited production timeline, and I had to make it slutty.

Well, while I was the skankiest of our group...

...I didn't even remotely compare to what I saw. The first costume I saw was this...EEEEEEEEKKKKS!

That was one of the less offensive outfits, as the first female costume I saw when I walked in the ball was a lady wearing clear plastic platforms, fish-net tights (with nothing underneath but an interesting design shaved into her goodies,) very tiny pasties on her chest and a wig. That was all, and that was par for a lot of the people at this place. I remained slightly nervous the whole time, as I'm not quite used to being in the environment but it was interesting none-the-less and I did see some other great costumes. And as it turns out, I was one of the more popular people at the party. No, seriously, really. So many people thought my outfit was funny (I wouldn't go as far as saying cute) that they would come up and ask me to take a picture with them.) It was a life-defining moment for me, of course!

Thankfully, and despite many of your beliefs, I ended this night as sober as could be. I needed to save up my energy for Sunday, because it was going to be a long day. My Aunt Barbara & Uncle Bob (Mom's side) live on the parade route for the Thoth parade, which is a nice, smaller parade that cruises through uptown. They had a cocktail party/brunch at their house so we could easily watch the parade. Our cousin Reagan (Dad's side) and his girlfriend Marie joined us as well. Also, contrary to many beliefs, the parades during Mardi Gras are very clean and family friendly. It's not until you get to Bourbon Street does it become wild. (Stories to follow.)

Sunday night was the highlight of my trip, as it included attending the Bacchus parade and having a balcony on Bourbon Street. Being that I had reserved energy and liver health, I decided to go balls to the wall this night, starting at Bacchus, and clearly I succeeded. (Disclaimer: New Orleans is very humid. Pair that with my already curly mess of a hairstyle and you've got disaster. But apparently disaster that was my theme for the night.)

Larry and his friends had rented the balcony of Arnaud's for us to be wined and dined all night long. The food was incredible and the bar selection made my heart smile. Being on a balcony during Mardi Gras is definitely the way to go, avoids all the ridiculous crowds on Bourbon Street.

With the insane amount of people on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras, you can guarantee that over 50% of them are stupid enough to do horrendous acts just for beads, or better yet, a light saber. I saw small boobs, big boobs, saggy boobs, fake boobs, white boobs, brown boobs, old boobs, young boobs and the same goes for the male parts. But, what I did NOT expect to see was the pregnant woman who got on her knees in the middle of the street to have oral sex with her husband, in order for us to give her the light saber. WOW is all I have to say. I guess once you've been to Mardi Gras, you've seen it all people, you've seen it all!

After our adventures on the balcony, we headed to the Carousel Bar at the Montleone Hotel. Mae Mae and Larry escaped to some hidden table while I used the facilities, so when I came back and didn't see them, I just walked up the bar. There I met my Irish friends, JPJ (Jeremiah Patrick John,) Cathal (Cuh-haul,) and Tim. They were visiting from Ireland just for the fabulous carnival time, and they instantly became my new best friends. Eventually, we continued on to the Ole Absinthe House for Irish shots, Irish dancing and Stanga Sister Sandwiches.

Before we knew it, the clock was approaching 4:45 am Monday morning. My flight back to Dallas left at 6:45 am. We literally walked straight out of the bar on Bourbon Street, grabbed a quick breakfast at an all-night diner. We shared frivolous laughs, due to the simple fact that Mae Maeis a 'finisher.'

I was literally hammered checking into the airport at 5:45 and getting on the plane, and even getting off the plane in Dallas. Although I had planned to arrive at Love Field at 8:15 and drive 4 or 5 blocks straight to the office, it didn't happen. Look at me y'all. This is EXACTLY how I got on the plane...minus the mask and the Irish dude.

Yup, my dress is from the night before, cowboy boots, boa and beads. Now tell me that doesn't make a statement. I received many looks, heard under-breath comments from spectators and I'm positive the people sitting next to me on the plane just LOVED me.

Heck yes I'm a good time. And a mess!