Top 10 List

Please look at this list of top 10 quotes, not in any particular order, and try to guess what went down...

1. I got this dress off a n*gga chicken. Go ahead, ruffle my feathers!

2. Sunshine, stand up - tuck your f*cking penis between your legs and make yourself a mangina

3. I need my trashcan for insurance. Call Tom Ranly @ State Farm, he knows my policy.

4. My hands hurt from grabbing the pole so much. I'm not going to be able to use my steering wheel tomorrow!
5. I used to hang out with so and so. You know, before I knew what white trash was and before I learned how to judge.
6. Robyn, chase down the bus and find my shoes. What? You're on the bus and you can't find my shoes? Nevermind - they're on my feet.

7. Bitch, you're not really hurt. Stand up and dance!

8. You can't find my bottled water? I just poured some in my iron - you can just bring me my iron. I'll drink from that.

9. Do you think people can see through the windows? Let's give them a show!
10. I'm here with my friend who really likes to dress up in drag, but I'm a woman. My husband doesn't know I'm here. Here's my number.
Oh and an extra for fun.

11. Yeah, I think I'm wearing panties. I don't know, let's make sure.

Well if you guessed Bachelorette Party/Lingerie Shower, you would be correct. Saturday night, we hosted a party for our friend Jess the Mess at my house.





Next, we hopped on a party bus and headed down to the Rose Room at S4. A good time was definitely awaiting our arrival.




Let's just say the night was on a quick downward spiral, as we consumed copious amounts of alcohol. I'd definitely say the night was an overall success with many memories and frivolous laughs.


CLICK HERE FOR THE REST OF THE PICTURES. THEY ARE VERY ENTERTAINING!!!

What Are You?

Can someone please answer this question for me? Do you really think these two phenomenal people are 35 year old fraternal twins still dressing alike? Or are they that disgustingly ghetto super sweet, madly-in-love couple? I can't figure it out...I mean they also had the same gold toof! Whatever the case - where can I get that outfit?

Congratulations Scott & Abby!!!

I was lucky enough to spend an entire week with my family, now even bigger than ever, as I watched my big brother get married to a wonderful woman. Spending a week in Hilton Head, SC was absolutely amazing and I really want to go back. What a charming little island it is. Returning to reality wasn't nearly as much fun and I think my brain is still soaking up the rays. Our accommodations were unbelievable, with a 3 story house on a private section of the beach. It even had an elevator!

We did a whole lot of nothing, including lounging by the pool, playing on the beach, shopping eating and drinking. We made a special trip to tear up some wave runners and also to a quaint little area, Harbour Town, on the Sea Pines Plantation. Most the time, however, was spent quite inebriated and hanging around slanging out best bullshit amongst the group. Molly and I did at least go for a run on the beach, as the cheesiest people ever ... and we loved it!






The wedding was simple and perfect for Scott & Abby. It was a beautiful, breezy beach day and it made the celebration so special.


The photographer had asked Scott and Abby to switch places during the ceremony because of the way the sunlight was reflecting in pictures. I guess it wasn't too formal of an event if the minister's speech was interrupted for a little restructuring. Only the bride and groom had to switch, so when it was time for Abby and Scott to exchange rings, the only person to take the bouquet was Mark. That is a true Stanga dysfunction right there!

Look how many new sisters I have!!!

Clearly, Daddy didn't get the message about cool, breezy beach attire. I love his tucked in shirt and golf shoes. He's so damn fancy!
After the ceremony, we headed over to the best restaurant on the island, AQUA, for a nice dinner. Scott's toast was so super sweet, and he brought us all to tears. He can be such a sap. "I just want to thank all of you for coming out to help us celebrate such a special occasion. Today is August 3rd, which is a familiar day to me. August 3, 2005, I shattered my elbow, forcing me to leave my job on the flight line. It is now August 3, 2008 and I am lucky enough to have just married my best friend. Within three years to the day, I went from having the worst thing that has ever happened to me to experiencing the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you Abby!"

I am so excited to officially have Abby in our family now, and am so happy for my brother for finding such a wonderful bride. We wish you two the best and we love you both!

CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE REST OF THE VACATION PICTURES!

New Running Gear

Running fashion is keeping up with the latest trends.

I had just discussed it 5 minutes prior with my boss. I was in dire need of one - I wanted it so bad. I left the office, walked down the stairs and headed to the shopping center below my building in search of it. I knew the local grocery wouldn't have quite what I needed, but it would do the trick. Seconds after exiting my office - I saw it off in the distance - the real authentic thing - mingling with the Mexicans working in the sewers, and in the streets, and on construction sites. Could it really be true?

There was little choice to be made except to strap on my stilettos super-force, solar-powered speed shoes and my superhero red dress cape and fly off towards my target without any caution. I was in a dead sprint across the parking lot, past the trees and zipping through the street with my eye on the metallic mint green push-cart, equipped with a high-pitched bell prize. It was when I had reached that point that I became victorious. With sweat dripping down my face, legs trembling, a misplaced boob and a possible twisted ankle - I accepted my reward and thanked Alma for this wonderful opportunity.

I returned to my office, indulged in my victory and cooled down. The sweat dried and I sprayed myself with some body splash to refresh my professional appearance. Soon, I realized I was sweating again, only this time it wasn't dripping from my head or caused by such an intense exertion of energy - it was seeping from my pores, my mouth went numb, legs began to tremble again, a little feeling of light-headedness came over me and I heard a dog's growl from deep inside my stomach. Can someone pass the Tums, please?!

Any Objections To This Marriage, Please Say I

I!This weekend, we are traveling to Hilton Head, South Carolina to help celebrate the marriage of my brother Scott and the beauitful Miss Abby. I am having doubts if this is really the right thing though, and might find it hard to let Abby follow through with such a bold move. In reality, I actually think my brother is gay and is using her for a cover-up.

Please see exhibit A. A text message from Abby to me: "Just wanted you to know that your brother is getting a pedicure. He's so intrigued by all of this, he just keeps asking me all these questions."

Please see exhibit B. Two pictures sent via phone from Abby to me.
Please see exhibit C. His conversation with my sister about how cool it was, how great it felt and how much he loved the vibrating chairs with remote control options.

I think we have a fairy on our hands, folks. I hope he flutters down the aisle.

Another big important announcement is that Miss Claire is 2 months old today!!! She is getting so big and starting to smile so much, although a lot of the time she looks at her Aunt Laney like I am CRAZY! I wonder why? I just am so in love with her! :)


Finally, tommorrow morning, Team Chelada will be participating in a relay race without me. I'm very sad to be missing the event, but I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy the beach and a beer a lot more. But I'll be running with them in spirit, so good luck. Oh yeah, and I'll be running with them on stick too! I don't want to be left out of team photo ops and they're also using me as the baton to pass off!

I'll post lots of pics and stories when I return from vacation. Cheers!