Krewe of Barkus

Molly and I took Boudreaux to his first Parade of Barkus. Each parade during Mardi Gras has their own crew and one of the biggest and most popular parades is the Bacchus Parade. To throw a fun spin on it for the whole family, the Parade of Barkus is for doggies to attend. Some people made floats for their pups, others just walked them down the street. The theme this year was something to do with Batman, so there were plenty of super heroes to be seen, amonst many other adorable costumes. Boudreaux got dressed up for the event.

How Low Can You Go?

So I have to admit, this past weekend in NOLA was relatively low-key considering it was during Mardi Gras, and knowing what I am capable of doing to myself. Friday, the sis and I got a little sloppy as noted previously, and Saturday I did too. However, I was in bed really early every night I was there and guess what!?!? No Hangovers! How amazing is that?!?!

Molly had something to do for school Saturday morning, so she dropped me off in the Quarter to meet up with Hayden and his LadyGays. First stop, VOODOO MARY. For me, anyway. They all looked at me like I was crazy but OMG, it is the best bloody mary anyone could ever make.
Hayden just couldn't believe I was eating the pickled green beans, olives and onions out of my drink. MMMM So Delish! At Cafe Du Monde, no less. Screw coffee and beignets, give me a bloody mary with green beans!

After getting my morning cocktail on, we perused the French Market and hopped from shop to bar, shop to bar along the way. We stopped at the Napoleon House for a quick Pimm's Cup to go. That's P.I.M.M.S - not Pimp's Cup. This is no Flava Flav, okaaaayyyyy.... (Yes, I'm wearing rainboots. It was nasty off and on all weekend, so I went prepared. Plus, no pair of shoes is worth ruining in the French Quarter!)

A few more cocktails and it was time for some food. OH.ME.GEE. Cholestrol - the fried alligator po-boy and stuffed seafood pistolettes were TO.DIE.FOR! I'm craving it right now! Is it bad that I asked for a loaf of bread to schlop up the rest of the creamy juice? If you're saying yes - that's disgusting, you fatass - then no, I didn't ask for bread to go with my cream.

Finally it was time to head back to Hayden's hotel to stock up on some 'Beverlies' (Hayden's fairy term for beverages,) and head to the 2:00 parade. Of course Snoop was in hand to earn us some bizzeads.



Finally I sobered up and caught a cab back to Uptown to meet up with Molly and her friends at dinner. Let me just go ahead and say that Jacques-Imo's is ... it is.... ummm....I can't even begin to explain how freaking good it is. Honestly, there's no way to express how freaking A.MAZE.ING their food is! I don't even know how to describe the greatness that is shrimp and alligator sausage cheesecake. Or their fried green tomatoes smothered in remolaude sauce and topped with plump whole shrimp. Or the crabcakes. OH HOLY CRAP - my mouth is seriously watering right now. Gimme mo, gimme mo, Jacuqes-Imo! After that dinner, my stomach was seriously sore. Probably from my skin and muscles expanding so much just to fit the food.

(This is Kate, Molly and me. Kate was the birthday girl loved that Snoop was her birthday date.

Oh good times had by all. I went to bed tired and FULL. Woke up Sunday morning ready for the Parade of Barkus. (Pics coming.)

Lesson #1

How you start your first day in New Orleans is key to how the rest of the weekend might pan out.

So far, I have learned to not do the following:

1. I will not begin my day with shots of moonshine at lunch.
2. I will not follow that shot I won't take with wine.
3. I will not try to soak up the alcohol with fried alligator, fried boudin balls or shrimp & eggplant dressing.
4. I will not then proceed to sit on a patio all day drinking 2 bottles of champagne.
5. I will not once again try to absorb the liquids with a very large, very full muffaletta and bowl of gumbo from Frankie & Johnny's.
6. I will not lay down for a disco nap that lasts longer than my life.


So far, I have learned to do the following:

1. Bring drawstring pants
2. Buy a Mardi Gras wig to put over this freaking disaster on my head.
3. ...
4. ...

It's 8:50 and I'm off to begin day 2. I think a Voodoo Mary is in order. Oh no...this is how it all starts....

Da Dogg

So, what is a trip to NOLA for Mardi Gras with out being accompanied by my dear friend and protector Snoop D.O-Dub G.  

Lady Hayden left his Snoop on a Stick at my house two years ago after a long Wine & Whine weekend, so I of course had to bring his to Nola with me, so give back to him when I see him tomorrow.  Going to go ahead and bet that we'll be perusing all the streets in the Quarter and the local gay bars with Snoops in hand.  Hey, it's what we know.  It's what we do. 

People normally look at me like I'm some sort of batshit crazy when I bust out My Dogg, but what fun is a plane ride without making an ass out of yourself?!?!?

My poor seatmates, I don't even think they knew what to do when I pulled this gangsta out of my bag. Charles was at least crazy enough, (read: drunk enough) to go along with it and pose for a picture.

This dude next to me, however, did not! So I did it myself! :)

I'm going to go ahead and suggest to area school districts that my Snoop on a Stick become the next Flat Stanley.

PS - Dude the hair!?!?!? Well, let's just say that any picture taken and posted during this weekend will be of me with some whacked out do. Airport security confiscated my mousse that controls this crazy mop, and well...I'm in New Orleans. Yikes.

Just In Case You Were Wondering...

If you ever wake up in the middle of the night absolutely starving, rolling over and lying on your stomach does not cure the crave.

In midst of my slumber the other night, for some unknown reason {wait, I went to bed at 7:30 without dinner} so for some known reason, I woke up around 11:00 really really hungry. I did not want to drag myself out of bed and eat something, especially that late, so I decided to fight it. Probably the hardest battle I've had in life to date.

In some retarded rationale, I figured if I rolled over to my stomach, I would fix the problem. I don't have any clue why, but I felt like some kind of philanthropist for a cause such as Fighting Back Against Hunger, like my stomach was some third world country or something. Only, if I was really 'fighting back,' I'd feed the damn thing. My 'fighting back' was denying the hunger control over me.

Why the hell do I think such retarded things when I'm supposed to be sound asleep? Needless to say, my philanthropy didn't work so well.

Just thought I'd let you know. Because I'm kind like that.

I Bow Down To You, Mr. Cake Ball!

Holy crap! I had no idea people were so passionate about cake balls. My cousin, his wife Libby and my aunt have all informed me that they are dang good. And I've now heard that there are some old family recipes for cake balls.

How come I have never, ever heard of such a thing? I once thought I was a qualified cake connoisseur, but apparently I have been mistaken. However, in Dallas, cake balls are the latest trend to hit bakeries. It's like the Wii just came out all over again, but for your taste buds. I've just started noticing it being posted up all over Facebook. Can't think of what to get a friend for her birthday? Get her some balls, all of Facebook does! I'm absolutely convinced these balls came to surface in the DF-Dub when Obama won the election. Was that the 'change' he promised? So, since this new trend hit the market just recently, has the entire Metroplex been sheltered from this phenomenon? Please tell me there are others of you out there who are completely in the dark about this! I still refuse to pay $16 for some cake balls, but if anyone wants to send me one, I'll try it.

PS - Aunt Annie - how the hell do you know about cake balls? Don't they have dairy and stuff in it? Is it possible that a vegan is even more in tune with guilty pleasures than I? *Gasp* - Have I lost my Cake Queen title too?

PPS - I just consulted with Hayden and he has never had, nor heard of a cake ball either. That's one point for my side, because clearly if a fairy that is familiar with balls of all sorts has yet to be introduced to the cake ball....I'm not alone on this.

My List of WTFs

A) Cake Balls
What the hell is this phenomenon, better known as Cake Balls? Where did these balls come from? Last night, Danette called me to ask if I had heard of them before, because apparently she has been seeing them everywhere. Oddly enough, so have I. Just recently. What kind of trend is this?

1. Cake balls are crumbs of cake rolled with icing into miniature balls and dipped in chocolate or something like that. Why the hell would anyone not just make I cake, top it with icing and drizzle some chocolate on top? Or do the same with cupcakes? It sounds a lot easier than baking a cake, crumbling it all up, rolling into some ball and dipping it. It's got to taste the same right?

2. Bakeries don't just make cake balls for the fun of it, I'm sure of it. When a bakery makes a specific designed cake, they shave off some parts of the cake to make it even. Why waste that perfectly good cake when they can make some new product out of it and sell it for tons. If you buy cake balls, you're buying cake trash. It's the leftover trash from someone elses cake. I'm not hopping on this cake ball train.

3. A local bakery sells a half-dozen cake balls for $16. Neiman's sells 18 cake balls for $75 plus shipping. You've got to be outside your mind if you think I'm paying a minimum of $2.66 for one single rolled up ball of someone elses trash!

I agree, great marketing ploy for bakeries, but I'm not falling for it. I want a piece of cake, please. A whole piece of real cake!

2. The Bachelor
Okay, of course it's Tuesday so you're going to get my rundown of what I thought of last nights episode.

1. Seriously, Melissa's parents? Being too private to be on the show? Not showing their faces to support her at any of her games? Bullshit! She said it didn't bother her and maybe it doesn't, but I find it hard to believe that she wouldn't be scarred by some half-assed parenting. And her friends don't know her parents!?!?! What kind of crazy shenanigans is that crap? I'm pretty sure that my friends would rather hang out with my parents than me on any given day, but that's just me..... Whatever, dude!

2. Naomi's parents! That deserves a big fat OMG Cholesterol. There is absolutely no way I would have kept that chick around either, not after her mother made me bury a dove in her backyard. And "we're from the same soul family." I would have run like hell if some crazy broad came at me with that nonsense.

3. I thought Molly's hometown date went pretty well, nothing too off the wall. But that pink popped collar under her sweater. That needs to go.


3. My sleep
All night last night, I remember thinking to myself that my bed is so comfy and I'm so glad to be in it because I'll sleep so well. But I didn't sleep so well, because all I could think about what how cozy I was. How does that freaking happen? Apparently it wasn't so comfy because I surely would have fallen fast asleep and not remembered anything if it was.

4. My computer
My computer has gone apeshit. I'm completely convinced. First it was just my blog and all the stupid errors I kept getting when trying to rearrange my sidebar. Then it's hard to see my 'Older posts' button at the bottom. And now, my computer's entire existence is about to blow up in my face. I think I smell it smoking as speak. ... So if my work computer melts down to nothing, you will probably never hear from me again. Because we all know that this is all I do at work....

I'm going to stop this list before I even move on to the Bitch from the Metroplex. (same one from last week.)

I think Mardi Gras is going to be quite a blessing to me this weekend. I think I'm in an emergency need of a good innebriation.

You Want Me To Do What?

Work?  Seriously?  I have to dooooooo something?

Yes, this week can be summed up as the week from Hell.  Sent up to me by Sir Lucifer himself to taunt me and tickle my nerves.

I had plenty of unpleasant tasks on my to-do list this week, one of them being to fire someone. Talk about anxiety?!?!  Then I was fortunate enough to experience the battle with the Wicked Bitch of the east, west metroplex.  And then when I learned of my chore of collecting outstanding invoices from two pompous ass attorneys for services rendered over three months ago, I assumed this is what death must feel like.  

Needless to say, my mood has been pretty dang pissy these last few days and I'm sure I'm just radiating the heat waves that were so kindly instilled in me by said Lucifer(s.)  

It's easy to get over though, since there have been millions of easy days at work to make everything all worth while.  

So, at the end of the week (my dad hates these phrases 'at the end of the day'/'at the end of the week' - sorry Mikey) - and THANK GOD it's the end of the week, I'm still alive.  Still breathing.  Still kickin'.  Still laughing.  And of course, still hungry.  :)  

Let the weekend begin!!!!

TC Reunites...Kinda

Yesterday after work, I met up with a few of the ladies from Team Chelada, and Robyn, for some much needed Cheladas. Tammi has been out of the loop since mid-December, while she's been busy playing the new mommy to her precious little boy. Luckily for us, she had to return to her office for a meeting yesterday, and was able to meet us for a quick round of drinks and dinner at Uncle Julio's. Oh, and of course she brought Baby Boy B to meet us all. It was so good to see her and such a joy to watch her nurture that sweet little man. I won't lie though, I'm ready for her to be back at work and ready for a routine Happy Hour again. (Although something tells me she's not going to be staying as long anymore...)

I do have a secret to share though. Listen really close, because I'm going to whisper. I don't really want everyone around to hear.

I only drank half of a single Chelada. Then I ordered water.

*GASP*

What is wrong with me???

Thaaaaaat Girl!

I've decided that I need to implement some type of system that alerts friends of the recent social statuses of fellow companions. Sort of like an Amber Alert, but of less importance, obviously! If only someone would have updated me on the current situation, I wouldn't have been that girl the other day.

(Names have been changed for privacy.)

Me: Hey John, where's Jane?

{Cricket. Everyone glares at me.}

John Doe: I have no idea, we haven't been together for about three months.

{Crickets.}

Me: Oh John, I'm so sorry. I feel like an ass for bringing it up.

John Doe: Oh, it's ok. I'm working on it. I was hoping to have it figured all out by today, but I guess I'll have it figured out in 5 years.

Me: What's today?

John Doe: Today is my 30th birthday.

Crowd: It is? Happy Birthday, man!!!

John Doe: Yeah thanks.

Me: Is that a new tattoo?

John Doe: Yes, it's about two weeks old.

Me: Well, what have you been up to? How's your business doing?

John Doe: Well, I've been in rehab. When Jane kicked me out, I decided I needed to go. It's the only way I can get her back. Well, except that she has a new boyfriend.

{Crickets.}

I mean seriously y'all, what do you say to that??? I was pretty much paralyzed where I stood, trying to think of what to respond, but I had nothin. I felt awful the entire time, I forced Debbie Downer to talk and bring the whole mood to an awkward low. Had only someone informed me of this beforehand, we could have avoided this situation. That, ladies and gentlemen, is why we need some sort of social status alert system.

Skilled

Let me just tell you, I'm on top of my game today. I honestly feel pretty official and important with the tasks I'm completing.

Colby is out of the office for a few days, enjoying a nice dudes' ski trip, so I'm taking the down time to do some much needed maintanence and updates.

I'm conquering the following:

1. My taxes. I really enjoy trying to do them myself. No assistance from the computer or anything, I just like to fill in all the forms and schedules myself and see if I get it right. Of course, my dad always does a final check before I submit. So far, I've been damn near accurate everytime. It's not always a good thing though, I'm usually hoping my dad will find a mistake, leading to a greater return for me, but that never happens!

2. Had a phone conference with my financial advisor to discuss my investments and such. Seriously? How grown up of me!

3. Lately, my computer has been running sub-par, at best. After speaking with Chris, my favorite IT consultant, I tackled the project of installing new memory into my computer. This wasn't any type of downloading a program. This was taking the computer apart and actually installing two pieces of hardware. I'm practically a computer builder by now.

4. Back-up. I would be completely lost if something happened to all the data and documents I have stored on my work computer. To prevent such a disaster, I've gotten an external hard-drive so that I may back up all my information.

Dudes, I haven't done this much work in...hmm....have I ever done this much work?