I've decided that I need to implement some type of system that alerts friends of the recent social statuses of fellow companions. Sort of like an Amber Alert, but of less importance, obviously! If only someone would have updated me on the current situation, I wouldn't have been that girl the other day.
(Names have been changed for privacy.)
Me: Hey John, where's Jane?
{Cricket. Everyone glares at me.}
John Doe: I have no idea, we haven't been together for about three months.
{Crickets.}
Me: Oh John, I'm so sorry. I feel like an ass for bringing it up.
John Doe: Oh, it's ok. I'm working on it. I was hoping to have it figured all out by today, but I guess I'll have it figured out in 5 years.
Me: What's today?
John Doe: Today is my 30th birthday.
Crowd: It is? Happy Birthday, man!!!
John Doe: Yeah thanks.
Me: Is that a new tattoo?
John Doe: Yes, it's about two weeks old.
Me: Well, what have you been up to? How's your business doing?
John Doe: Well, I've been in rehab. When Jane kicked me out, I decided I needed to go. It's the only way I can get her back. Well, except that she has a new boyfriend.
{Crickets.}
I mean seriously y'all, what do you say to that??? I was pretty much paralyzed where I stood, trying to think of what to respond, but I had nothin. I felt awful the entire time, I forced Debbie Downer to talk and bring the whole mood to an awkward low. Had only someone informed me of this beforehand, we could have avoided this situation. That, ladies and gentlemen, is why we need some sort of social status alert system.
1 comment:
It's called Twitter! :)
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