Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Rated X

So there was a crazy 'train wreck' in McKinney this weekend. One of my many to-do's was to attend Scott & Abby's "Honey-Do" couple shower. This was mostly for Scott, so he could aquire some fun manly tools, but Abby got her fair share of toys too.

Meet the sweet bride and groom to be.

Mind you, when our whole family gets together with certain friends, you can clearly smell disaster in the air.

Luckily, Abby's family has a small degree of the same humor we have, so they can play along fairly well.

Of course, as soon as the presents started being opened, the foul comments were set free. Scott first opened the gifts that I had brought, which were the shop-vac and leaf blower he had registered for. Our dear friend Christopher decided to let everyone know that those two items were the best things in marriage with his comment "Congrats Scott. Now you've got a sucker and a blower!" There was an uproar in laughter from the entire crowd, and it got even worse when Abby's dad said "Wait until you see that new wacker I bought you!" We thought he was kidding, but just trying to be funny, until sure enough, Scott unwraps a weed wacker. The box explained that this sweet thing has a "new extended curved shaft," which definitely didn't go unnoticed by any of us.


They registered at Lowes, which happens to suck at gift registries, so they received multiples of many of their gifts, including the hedge trimmers. They got two of those, so it was said that they could each have their own and they could trim their 'hedges' together. Of course, Scott turns to Abby with his trimmer in hand, and in his finest gangsta GQ imitation "YYYYoooooooo guurrrrrllll, can I trim yo bush?" Yes, this really happens at wedding events that we're invited to! Laugh or shake your head, whichever is fine with me!

Next, they received a hoe from my mom. It's a running joke in my family that my mom is the best hoe around, so she was giving her gift to Abby, who is in training. My mom said it was the perfect gift for her, since Abby is a big hoe, to which Abby responded "I only wish I can be as good of a hoe as you are!"


So, another multipled gift was the toolbox. They happened to get 3 of them, one of which was from my sister. She had left it in the car, but during the opening of the gifts, she asked our friend Keith to help her go out and get it. For reasons not needed to be explained, earlier that day at brunch, we had to explain to my dad what the donkeypunch was. He thinks this is the greatest term ever now, so in the middle of the crowd, as my sister and Keith are walking out to the car, my dad yells "Keith, you're taking my first born baby...be sure not to donkeypunch her while you're out there!" Yes, we lost it. THANK GOD the other middle-aged adults didn't seem to catch on, but all the younger ones did. What the hell is wrong with us?

By the time Scott & Abby had opened all their gifts, we then had a quick celebration for Molly, since it was her birthday that day as well. Abby made her a funny confetti cake with candles, so the whole group gathered around to sing her Happy Birthday, while she wore her special "Birthday Hat."

Once the song was over, it was time for her to make her wish and blow out her candles. My dad didn't fail to warn her to not spit when she blew though. Of course, the crude comments never cease. Finally, the night came to an end, but we got awesome parting gifts. Each attendee was rewarded with a Lowe's tool apron filled with goodies, including candy, mini screwdrivers, pliers, a level, and other fun stuff!

1 comment:

Kacy said...

HILARIOUS! Love the party favor!