Meet Me, Lane!

So my sweet friend Cara tagged me to post some random facts about me that may come as quite a surprise to you. (Okay, she didn't tag me directly, it was more of an open invitation...but I'm still doing it.) I've done one of these before, so I will try not to repeat anything.



1. Table settings. I am IN LOVE with table settings. Not quite sure where I got it, since we certainly did not have anything even remotely close to a neat and tidy kitchen table. Nor did we hardly sit down as a family for meals. But at my house, you can't use the table settings. If you want to eat at my table, we must first go through the process of removing EVERYTHING and getting generic white dishes. I don't know why I won't let people use my different plates, but it's something I'm working on. Might be my New Year's Resolution.

2. Sometimes I sleep in the closet. I have this little extra room in my house that was previously used as a storage closet, but it's way too good of a room to be used for boxes. I put a little day bed and desk and there and turned it into another little room. Well, the master bedroom in this house backs up to a strip mall and bar, so at about 10, 12 and 2 every night, I hear them dumping beer bottles into the dumpster. IT IS LOUD!!! So, I get frustrated and go into the closet to sleep. It's great...no windows, no noise, completely dark and cozy. You can totally loose track of time in there.

3. I can't listen to Kenny Chesney anymore. I absolutely cringe when I hear his voice, his name, or see his picture. Ugh! Ever since someone I know very well may or may not have had 'relations' with him (and I was in the next room,) he makes me want to vomit in my mouth!

4. I always wear earrings, no matter what. They could just be silver ball studs, rhinestone studs, pearls or the biggest gaudiest dangliest earrings on the planet, but whatever the case, I'm wearing some sort of earrings. I'm under the impression that it doesn't matter what your hair or makeup looks like, if you're wearing earrings, you can still look decent.

5. I'm missing a toe on each foot. Hah! Did that freak you out? Okay, okay, so I'm not really missing any toes, I have all 10. The thing is, I have enough space on my feet for 6 toes, and my dad calls my big toes my 'monkey thumbs' and is sure I can climb trees really well and swing from branches by my toes. You know when you go get a pedicure and they put those spongy spacers between your toes??? It always boggles the minds of the technicians as to why those things don't stay in my feet. Um, hello!?!? I don't need spacers! Also, I have to wear flip flops with thick straps, other wise the flops will just slide right out in front of me. Every guy I've ever even semi-seriously dated, my dad really doubts they've seen my feet, because he thinks if they had, they'd be running! Oh Daddy, they're not that bad. (I swear to sweet baby Jesus, if anyone comments on my toes, I will never share any good stories with you ever again. Ever!!!!)

6. I'm absolutely, beyond belief tone-deaf. That may be hard to believe, I know, but unfortunately it's true. I don't sing in church anymore, because my dad told me I wasn't allowed. One small mistake during Christmas carols (okay, a mistake that the entire congregation heard,) but is that really bad enough to ban me from singing completely?

7. My grocery list goes through several revisions before it's finally ready to be put to use. I first list everything I need. Then I mark the ones that I have a coupon for. Then I find the stores where each item is on sale. Then I total up how much it would be with sale price and coupon and make sure it wouldn't be cheaper anywhere else. It's color-coded, marked with symbols and in columns. It is ridiculous how much time I spend on it, but I love every minute of making my lists. I feel so accomplished. Geez, I need a life!


8. When I'm on a road trip, I constantly calculate how long I have left in the car. I will see a sign that says a certain place is so many miles away, and then I'll look at my speedometer and then calculate exactly how many minutes that would be. If I speed up two minutes later, I'll recalculate. I have no clue why I do this, I'm never dead on. Maybe it just gives me something to do. I also seriously debate with my GPS system that it is wrong on my ETA and that I am right. I am never right!

9. I am ALWAYS cold. Always. In the middle of the summer, I have my little space heater under my desk turned full blast. It's now winter and my heater is full blast, and I have a blanket over me and am wearing down slippers. Colby makes fun of me because sometimes I sit in my office with my coat, scarf and blanket...and if it's *really* cold, I wear gloves. I swear something is wrong with me.

10. This might be my weirdest quirk of all. I like to read the news articles about criminals. Then I get their name, and I do a massive search on MySpace or Facebook to see if I can find a profile for them. I wonder what the social life of a criminal is like. I want to know who their friends are. Then I look up to see if they own property through the county records, and I've found that usually criminals don't own any property. I want to know all about these news-worthy people. Is this strange?

Don't say it, I already know: I need a life!!!