Monday, May 25, 2009

Only a Mother Would Say

Let me ask you ladies, what the hell are you supposed to do with this comment:

Laney, you have such a pretty face. I'm just sad you're not living up to your full potential in the looks department.

I mean I don't know even know what she's referring to...

If it's because I wore dirty running socks yesterday, I mean I guess I could either wash them or buy more. Buutttt, I was using them to go on another run, it wasn't like I wore them out anywhere....

Is it because I go as long as I possibly can without washing my hair? Well, I can assure you that isn't going to change.

And when I do finally wash my hair, is it because I rarely run a brush through it, but leave the kinks to work themselves out in? Yeah woman...you try battling Medusa every.single.day. every.single.three.days.

Maybe she doesn't believe in my theory of not worrying about how much prep time you spend getting yourself ready, as long as you have a precious pair of earrings, you look totally hot...

Eyeliner, mascara and blush isn't a face-full of pretty?

Wait, maybe I've got it! -- Does she disapprove of me constantly unbuttoning my pants after a meal? Or is it the jelly rolls that ooze over the sides of my pants and our from underneath my bra straps?

Did someone say cupcake?

Is it because when I see the sun shining, I lock myself indoors and close all the blinds in attempt to get as little sun exposure as possible? ...because sun poisoning is.not.cool. -- I'm just sayin...

Does she disagree with my rubberband permanently worn as a bracelet and a running headband that can bail me out of any most folicle desasters?

Is it my toes? It is isn't it? Well dammit woman, you have these monkey thumbs to me, so quit bitchin about it!!

Want me to brush my teeth more when I come stay at your house? Stop throwing away my toothbrushes or using them to clean toilets. I will do a lot of gross things, but I refuse to brush my teeth with toilet water! Is that too much to ask?

I mean, I don't even know how to begin fixing what she finds flawed -- but the good news is this: at least she says I have potential!

3 comments:

Maegan said...

Why did she say that, what did she mean?? You always look better than I do, I know it doesn't say alot, but atleast it something :)

Anonymous said...

Laney, You are a beautiful young lady with southern magnolia genes.
I think your mother was telling you " always wear your lipstick" (quoting your grandmother.)

Anonymous said...

Laney Beans, you are making me sound like a nagging witch, especially when you take things out of context. You know what I meant!