Celebrations

I recently just had my 25th birthday party at Hoffbrau in Plano. I love that old farmers' market setting and the big red barn-type atmosphere of the restaurant.

Let me tell you, the party was quite an extravagant event. Instead of shoving our faces full of chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes (although that does sound exquisite right now,) we decided to have a delicious tapas buffet catered by Breadwinners. It was really nice of Hoffbrau to let us bring in an outside caterer.

The band was fabulous, playing all sorts of great tunes up on the stage. I was having a grand time with my friends, when I heard a saxophone and the call for a second line. I immediately jumped up and yelled "SECOND LINE!" and started a parade through the restaurant. Louis Armstrong was so impressed that I knew what the Second Line was, he put down his sax and started swing dancing with me. Boy, that man sure knows how to dance. He swung me over his shoulders, which embarrassed me a little, as my skirt flew over my head and my thong and bare ass was exposed to everyone. Colby and Chris were sitting in a corner rockin' out the air guitar with the band, but they were definitely sure to catch a glimpse of my white rump.

As I settled down, I took a little break from the party to walk Marley along the golf course, but when I returned, the party had mellowed and the majority of my friends left. At least they left my presents behind! :) I got so many good things, I love birthdays!!! Can't wait until my party next year.

Wait...WHAT? What do you mean Breadwinners isn't a tapas place? And Hoffbrau has been closed for how many years, you say? Chris and Colby DO TOOOOOOO know each other, they were playing air band together! OH MY GOD...so you're telling me Louis Armstrong is dead? DEAD!!! ...but he was just as my party. Huh? I'm not even 25 yet?

Dear lord...was I dreaming all that?

Flamboyant!

As if my father needs any more ridiculous, obnoxious LSU gear to sport during Tiger games... like wearing his royal purple backless LSU slippers to the bar and to actual games isn't enough.
Think you're not seeing clearly? Here is a closer look of his fine accessory displayed ever-so-nicely on his infamous glasses holder. He special ordered these official Tiger-print bad boys, and even wears them out of town, in meetings and on airplanes. He may have been mistaken for a Rump Rangers a time or two. Daddy, Elton John called...he wants his glasses back!

But speaking of spirit, I may be guilty of being a little over the top too. I love my little patio and it has been looking really good lately, all except the fact that my two B.C. air condition units that take away from any aesthetic appeal. A few weeks ago, I hunted down these 3 planter stands from FIVE different Pier 1 stores. They were a clearance item, so if I called a store that happened to have them, they couldn't place it on hold for me. It was a rat race getting to each store before they sold my planter. I was so excited because they were originally $99 each, but I got all three of them for $75 total. And of course, what else would I fill them with other than purple, gold and white mums? Looks tons better, huh?

IRON WOMEN

Maybe not the IRON MAN competition exactly, but close enough in my eyes. Just needed to publicly express how amazed, proud, inspired and ecstatic I am for two of my close girlfriends for their hard work training for their very first Triathlon. Kacy and Jen, FREAKING FABULOUS WORK!!!!!! Can't wait to hear all about it today!

FABULOUS

I'm so great today, it's not even funny. Multiple factors contribute to this gigantic grin on my face!

1. It's Friday, it's beautiful outside and I'm in a jolly mood.



2. I'm rockin' my new jeans that give my ass the third dimension it usually lacks. I splurged and paid a whole $30 for them, but they are worth every cent!



3. USC lost last night to Oregon State. OREGON STATE!!! They were 1-2 and unranked. Guess Trojans do buckle under pressure... Say goodbye to your #1 spot! Sorry ladies-you know I'm half dike, half male with my ridiculous college football spirit.



4. Last night was like one of the absolute best nights of my life. Kacy, Jen and I had a Nug Party to celebrate the Season Premier of The Office. Our annual Nug Party started three years ago when we won free nug trays (64 nugs split between 3 ladies. How fantastic is that?!?!) from the Million Nugget Give Away contest. We've kept up the tradition, and since the three of us equally enjoy both Chick Fil A nugs and that hilarious sitcom, what better way to celebrate our friendship than to pair them together?
   
   Oh, and our watching party had to be at Jen's parents' house so she could babysit, dogsit and housesit while her parents were out of town. I'm just going to throw this out there, we may have actually gone through the closet and found some special old-school jewels, such as Jen's 8th grade social and prom dresses. And we may have put them on and had our own Red Carpet Premier. I'm just saying that might have happened...



5. Claire's 3-month pictures are finished and they make me the happiest, smiley-est, giggliest, thankful-est aunt to ever walk the face of the Earth. These are some of my favorites, but the photographer did a GREAT job with all of them.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

...Now if only some of my clients would come through on these few deals today, my happiness would shoot through the roof! Hope you all are having as blessed a day as I am.

You'll Die Reading This

Not because it's funny or interesting, but because it's a retardedly long recap of my weekend that is long overdue, so much so that nobody probably even gives two shits anymore. That is, if you even did in the beginning.

FRIDAY
One of my dad's good LSU buddies and fellow Martini Tour member has started this awesome little wine tasting venue that is now being franchised out and guess what...there is one in Grapevine! On the grand opening weekend, I ventured out to visit with Newf and to sample several delicious wines. I told him I couldn't wait to bring my girlfriends back for a visit and with the 'go ahead' from Robyn, I began planning her birthday party there.

(Please forgive my hair. I had just returned home from my week on the beach and my flight left at 6am! I practically drove straight to the wine bar.)

Friday night, the girls and I joined Robyn at Tastings for her little celebration. I only had about a half-glass full of a red selection, while the others enjoyed sampling the different labels, since I didn't want to be tired and hungover for my race at 7:30 the next morning.

SATURDAY
Saturday morning was the Tour De Fleurs 10K, and I was super pumped about it. Really, I was. I even busted out my new running shoes just for the event. Being that I had put over 150 miles on my old shoes from last season alone, before I even started this season's running, it was definitely time for some new wheels.
I had everyones packets in my car and woke up extra early so that I could ensure being there early enough to give everyone their runner's bibs. So leaving my house at 6:30, it was still dark out and I didn't hit any traffic, I was doing good. I realized that my gas light is on, but it said I had plenty to make it to the race, so I didn't hesitate continuing on. I realized my fuel supply was depleting rather quickly, and I started to get nervous, so I gave Kacy a call, letting her know that I'd be there in a few minutes. I pulled over in the middle of little Mexico (I didn't have any choice,) in the morning darkness, began pumping the gas and realized, "Holy Crap! I have a flat tire!" Seriously? I gave Kacy another call, only to learn that everyone was there and waiting on me, but problem was, I HAVE THEIR PACKETS. Tammi so generously fought the crowd waiting to park and came to meet me. I gave her everyones racing info, but declined her offer to transport me back to the race site. I didn't feel comfortable leaving my car at the shady gas station with all my stuff in it, so there I was with the sun just coming up, sat there with my doors locked while a few non-English speaking immigrants walked around my car, deciding what to do.

I normally would have asked someone for help, but it just didn't look like the safest of places to be making friends with some stranger. It was barely light out and deserted, and I totally didn't feel like being on the missing persons list that day, so I sat on hold with AAA forever. Realizing it could take forever, and since I've assisted in changing a tire before, I figured I'd hang up and try it. But then the fear of being outside in that area alone and not in a position to protect myself set in and I then opted for the next option. It was just hitting 7:00, opening time for Firestone, and so conveniently, there was one caddy-cornered from where I was. I called them and explained I was just across the street, but I couldn't even drive the teeniest distance to their shop, but wondered if someone could come help me.

"I'm sorry ma'am, we can't send anyone to help you. It's not covered in our policy."

"WHAT? I'm sitting here looking through your window watching you talk to me, that's how close I am.. And you can't help?!?!"

"No, I'm sorry. But feel free to stop on by when you get that spare on there!"

So I hung up, severely pissed off, sat in my car for a few more minutes when I looked through my rear view mirror and saw a cop turning the corner. I watched him drive down about a block and a half to a 7-Eleven several parking lots away, and that's when I decided to take action. I sprinted across the parking lot and sat waiting for him to exit his car. I think I surprised the crap out of him, or maybe scared him, or both - but I could at least trust him.

"Hey!"

"Um, Hi...."

"Whatcha doin?"

"Oh just getting a little snack."

"Awesome. Well, when you're done - you want to change a tire?"

"Um...well, hmmm, dang...okay."

I waited patiently for him to purchase his crackers and beverage of choice and then pointed down the street to where my car was and said I'd meet him there. He offered me a ride and I first declined, but then realized it'd be totally awesome to get in the front seat and see all their toys. Not so much. He opened the back door and motioned for me to get in. I felt like such a criminal and was slightly embarrassed that someone I knew might recognize me in the back of a cop car. Oh, who was I kidding? My kind totally don't hang out in that area! But dang it, why didn't I get a picture???

Sweet man, he totally helped me out, regardless of just getting his morning started and having a new crisp uniform on - straight from the dry-cleaners. Poor thing, I swear he was about the slap the shit out of me for talking so much and asking so many questions. Little did he know that I had just had my special caffeine kick for the morning, with the intentions of running it off, but since that didn't happen, my brain and mouth were moving a mile a minute. Totally unlike me, right? Riiiiiggggghhtttt?

I did get to learn a few things about my special new friend though...

• He too is a coonass, originally from the 9th ward. For all yous igdnut peoples, refer back to Hurricane 'Katrinka.'
• He went to college in New York, however if he had stayed in the swamps, he would have attended LSU. I knew I picked the perfect person to change my tire.
• He was just starting his morning, heading to patrol Parkland Hospital. They had a prisoner swallow a copious amount of cocaine to avoid getting caught (didn't work so well) and he flat-lined, so Officer D. had to go keep an eye on him.
• He's been shot at point blank and been involved in two shoot-outs. How cool! You know, in that adrenaline kind of way.
• He doesn't know what happened to the show Dallas SWAT.
• He's been in the police department for 9 years.
• He doesn't want the hangers that are in the back of my car.
• He's a genuine character and declined my offer to buy him breakfast, get his uniform dry-cleaned or buy him his own hand sanitizer.
• He definitely wanted me to just shut the hell up, because seriously, who talks that much at 7 am?
• He thinks that Firestone sucks and wanted me to tell them that.
• He also said someone else sucked, but I can't remember who. Oh wait, it was AAA for not answering promptly. He sure is passionate about customer service!

Once it was all fixed up, I headed over to Firestone and got my new wheel and then headed to the hospital to sit with my dad. He was in great spirits, with minimal pain and had even done some morning exercises by the time I got there. We watched ESPN Game Day, with live coverage from the LSU vs Auburn game. Mom and I returned later that night to watch the game with him. Mom and I shared his hospital bed, munching on pizza and cinnamon sticks, while he kicked back in the chair...the nurses were sure confused. After a nail-biting second half, LSU finally pulled through and we were able to leave with daddy in a good mood...and ready for a nap.

SUNDAY
Sunday was pretty uneventful. Church. Hospital. Nap. Errands. Nap. Football. Scott & Abby had just gotten their new puppy a few days before, so I went to hang out with the new pup and watch the Cowboys game in McKinney at their house. Yes, I know what you're thinking...that family has another animal!?!?! Abby decided to rescue another puppy, an 8-week old German Short-Haired Pointer named Rowan. You see, the day Abby and Scott returned from their wedding/honeymoon, they were super excited to get Abby's two dogs out of the kennel. The dogs were extremely happy to be home and played so nicely at home that night. Tragically, the next morning, S&A woke up to terrible squealing and noticed that Rosie had viciously attacked Ginger for no apparent reason. Ginger's injuries were severe and they ended up having to put her down. Rosie was also put down due to her aggression. Both Abby and Scott were devastated and that is not how they wanted to begin their new life together, so they're very thankful to have this new puppy in their home.

After the game, I headed to the E.P. to spend the night at my parents' house, so that I could help my mom take care of my dad and Claire the next day. It was going to be hard for her to juggle helping my dad move around while Claire had her needs too, so I decided to work from home that day and help out as much as I could.

MONDAY
Being the nice sister I am, I volunteered to do night duty with the Bobble-head, and was quite surprised (and thankful) that she didn't want to eat until 5am. I loved getting to share this time with her. She's so dang happy in the morning!
I had a little bit of work to do at the office while my mom went to the hospital to pick up my dad, so I had the Biggins with me in tow. On my way home, I called Robyn to ask if she wanted to meet us for a quick bite to eat, and coincidentally, she had her niece up at work too. We stopped for lunch and a play date before heading home.
We arrived home to greet mom and dad, but we were super impressed with the ease in which daddy was moving. He climbed the stairs all by himself, well with crutches, but still ... for being 3 days out of surgery, I think that's pretty dang good. His recovery is going so well and the doctor says to give it 8 weeks and then he can return playing a round of 18 holes. Amazing!

Whew, that was a busy few days!!!

LOVE

WHAT LOVE IS:
Remember a few posts back, Still Employed, when I started questioning what it really was that my boss admired about me? I'm still thinking it's my buttons or something along those lines, but today for whatever reason, he showed his appreciation for me. This fun label on this fancy beer bottle must have reminded him of me, because he offered me this specific one out of this Beers of the Month Club delivery package. Was it the Tommy 'Knocker' that he was trying to get across or the Butt Head part?
WHAT LOVE IS NOT:
A follow up from yesterday. Apparently, the cleaning service keeps their duties to only half-assedly (yes it's a word. I just made it up.) wiping off my desk & bookshelf, returning my picture frames back to the shelves either facing backwards or upside down and emptying my trash can, because when I arrived this morning, my mess behind my desk was still there. But at least I found 3 Nerds and one of my bronzing balls when I had to get on my hands and knees this morning!(No comments please, you sickos!)

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LOVE?
When I bought my car, they offered me a 3 month trial period of XM Radio. It's alright, but it doesn't give me full range of all the channels XM offers, but it has a decent selection. I'm debating if I want to go ahead and subscribe when my trial period is up or if I can fare just fine without it. I am really enjoying listening some throwbacks to my early childhood as Alabama, Shanandoah and Diamond Rio audibly bless my travels. There are a couple of truly geat channels broadcasting some of my favorite country songs. Whatever happened to those guys? Why is the new country mixed with rap, such as Honkey Tonk Badonkadonk and Holler Back, or why is it so damn cheesy and stupid? OH, OH, OH - and what is with Kenny Chesney having his own XM station? I know Willie Nelson does, but it's not all dedicated to just Willie, just people of the like. XM-18 Kenny Chesney constantly plays his cheesedick music. Sorry, I just can't think of him the same since one of my dear girlfriends may or may not have 'personally befriended' him during his 2007 Tour. He even had the audacity to ask her to sign his black book when they parted ways. Ugh! Anyway, I want my old genuine country songs back. You know the ones that I can rock out my air guitar to, play my steering wheel drums along with, and sing like I was born to be on American Idol. David Lee Murphy, I miss you!

A Four-Lettered Word

came out of my mouth this morning. Contrary to popular belief, leaving a mess you made in a small crawl space behind your desk and computer on Friday morning will not magically disappear when you return to work on the following Tuesday. I was hoping the cleaning service would have that all picked up for me, I mean they had THREE days to do it. I guess if it's still there tomorrow, I'll pick it up. I need a magnet, so I don't have to pull everything out from the wall.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO, look, is that a dime? YES!!!!!!!

I Love My Tini

This is my daddy, Mike, aka Tini. (That's his 'grandpa name.' He looks real Tini doesn't, he?)
His life is full of many great blessings: strong faith, a batshit crazy loving wife, 2 unlovable sassy daughters, disastrous twin sons, 2 stupid brave daughter-in-laws, a beautiful granddaughter, 4 dogs, 3 cats plenty of martinis, cigars and of course, he has his LSU Tigers. What more could a man want in life? Well, I mean if I asked Tini, he said he's still lacking a herd of goats, but he's pretty much got it all!

Tomorrow, Tini will add a brand new hip to his list of wonderful personal belongings. Story sound familiar? Yes, my mom just got herself a new knee about two months ago, and my dad was so jealous of her limp, he scheduled a surgery for himself too! I swear, my parents just celebrated their 34th anniversary on Sunday the 14th. Please note that I said 34 years, not 44, 54, 64 or 74 years. My parents are so young, yet so old with their fake body parts (and not the good perky kind.) At least when one gets stopped by airport security and is forced to undergo a cavity search, the other one will be right alongside. Isn't that sweet? So here's to my wonderful parents and their amazing marriage, their speedy recoveries and of course, to their new matching metal! :)

*When my parents found out they were going to be grandparents, they were discussing what their grandchildren would call them. Dad insisted that my mom be "Maw" and he could be "Tini," so when the grand kids came to visit, they could tell their friends that they were going to "Maw-Tini's" house. My dad clearly loves his chilled vodka! Mom refused "Maw" but Tini has stuck for dad.

It's That Time Again

to wish my roomie a very happy birthday! Today, she's quarter of a century old.

Last night, Kacy, Jen and I joined Robyn on the patio of Gloria's for some delicious dinner and drinks to help her celebrate her birthday early. She has a girl's night planned for tomorrow at the wine bar, but since Kacy and I have a race early on Saturday morning, it's going to be hard for us to truly celebrate, so we had to do it a few days early.

Hope you have a wonderful birthday, lady!

People Make Me Laugh

Sometimes it's a genuine belly laugh coming from the deep dark lumpy depths of my gut and other times it's just one of those 'shake-your-head-and-laugh' kind of things, but nonetheless - people make me laugh. Especially at work.

Like Cindy, the little girl who forgot to bring her homework one day and didn't get 'Student of the Week,' or Tommy, the butter-fingered kid who is riding the bench because he dropped the ball on the game-winning touchdown in last week's game, some of the candidates who contact me are more than distraught when their skills just don't add up to the position requirements. Just like any teacher or coach, the hate mail starts to trickle in.

I think I got broken up with today...by a candidate...via email. She didn't at least have the courtesy to do it in person. She thinks I have the power to control the decisions of my clients, and when she just isn't cut out for the job - she throws it all back in my face.
"I finally understand why people do not keep your e-mails. I have been told on several occasions from numerous candidates, to not apply and delete the e-mails. Instead, I am asking that you not include me on your e-mail listing and I will try to move on without being tempted to respond. "
Like any good respectful ex, I promise to no longer contact her, but I guess I should send her stuff back to her. You know, like her resume. Isn't that what happens when you break up? I just hope she realizes it's not me, it's her.

What about parents who stand up for their children through thick and then, through good and bad, through childhood and adulthood.
"A while ago I told my son to email you regarding information you may have been able to help him with. I think he wrote quite an extensive email asking for assistance. He mentioned my name in the email and I think he even said that I suggested he contact you. You NEVER responded to his email. I realize he may not have been (at that time) available for the work, but would be in the near future. In any event, I found that to be extremely unprofessional. I think that you could have taken the time to respond -- even if it was "I have no time at the moment" or "we are not interested," but to NOT answer at all...!"
Damn, I guess that's what I did wrong all those times I didn't get a job I had applied for, or didn't get an email back because the person I addressed was drowning in thousands of emails. Duh - I should have just had my mom email them and get them to understand that I NEED HELP! Who cares that, like her son, I'm in my mid-20s, because nothing fixes things quite like mom!

Different topic, but still people at work. I'm still laughing...at all sorts of stuff. I'd like to put a few post-it notes on some people's doors, personalized just for them. They would say things like:

• Whistling while walking down the hall, carrying the newspaper under your arm...not quite so inconspicuous! Dude, I know you've got to take a major deuce and it's going to be pretty explosive. Why do you have to advertise that? If you just would have walked normally, I would have no clue your stomach was about to fail from combustion.
• Raw ground meat and frozen green beans (that's right - un-thawed, hard green beans out of a bag) sprinkled with cod oil and sesame seeds may be healthy in some god-forsaken unknown way, but it makes me want to vomit in my mouth when I see you making your lunch.
• Please don't come out of the restroom without washing your hands, especially if your intention is to then offer me a tasty homemade cupcake treat. I totally appreciate the gesture, really that's super kind...but I'm trying to watch the amount of Hepatitis germs I consume. Kinda on a health kick right now.
• I like your office, it seems real warm and cozy-like. I'd love to work in here all day. And look at the pretty view you have out your window! WHY oh WHY must you pace up and down the hall, outside my door, screaming profanities into your phone while trying to make a deal?
• I get thirsty a lot. You see, I'm a runner and it makes me drink a lot during the day, therefore I keep some liquids in the fridge. Those are mine, not yours. If you too are thirsty, and forgot your lunch money today, I'll lend you 65 cents to get your very own drink out of the machine.
• Sometimes my tummy gets really upset too, however, I don't think I have ever treated the public restroom at the office as my own at home. In fact, I don't think I have EVER made such loud, echoing, rumbling grunts during any bathroom experience. Did you lose your air supply, holding your breath and squeezing so tight? I am so sorry you have to undergo that stress, but I don't think you're quite right. Maybe you should look into that...

Office humor is the best, isn't it? Well, humor outside of working is even better, but if I have to be here, I might as well be present with a big toothy smile on my face! And that's because it's healthier to just laugh than to be irritated with it.

Why My Friends Are My Friends

Please review a nice email exchange between two of my closest friends. Clearly, I hand-picked them for the most important reasons.


GHayden: Are you mad about the Jessica Simpson picture?

Kacy: Nah, I love Jessica Simpson. :)

GHayden: I posted that and thought "okay, this could go one of two ways..." J. Simpson is one of Satan's demons sent from the 6th layer of hell to destroy us, as a society, from within!


Kacy: Maybe, but she is still in my all-time threesome fantasy ;)

GHayden: No way lady. What about you, Victoria Beckham and Jude law? Or what about me, David Beckham and Ryan Reynolds..............*nice*.........what were we talking about?

Kacy: No, no, not Victoria ... Britney. No laughs, dead serious :) I'd take Ryan too. I like a hodgepodge.

GHayden: Ok so lets think about this seriously.....Britney circa 2001, Ryan Reynolds from the nude running scene in Van Wilder, Jude Law, Erik McCormack (Will & Grace,) Ashley Olsen ....dont ask why, andDavid Beckham just standing there watching because his voice is kinda pansey-like.


Kacy: You left out the icing. Jessica :)

GHayden: UGH ok I see your Jessica if I can bring back my Posh.

Kacy: Sure. I call. Let's do this :)

GHayden: Ok we'll need to get money together for a hotel room because I know this is going to get messy and no one will use coasters so it cant be at my place. Do they sell lube in 5 gallon jugs @ Costco? Check on that for me, plz.

Kacy: I like a variety pack myself.

GHayden: Yeah that's fun for a small get together, but I was thinking practically...more along the lines of hooking a large container up to a pump thats connected to a sprinkler head that would just shower us all with lube to keep things going. Maybe one of those tractor sprinklers that will slowly make its way around the room and back, therefore leaving nothing un lubed. Thoughts?

Kacy: Crop dusting, lube style. Yes, I love it. Can we get a DJ too? I like orgies to music.

GHayden: Yea a DJ is fine, but wouldnt you rather put money towards booze & snacks? We can put my iPod on shuffle... I've got everything from Britney to Enya to Macarena to Ricky Martin. It's up to you but I'd rather see a cheese platter and and cheap champagne than some meskin running a booth making us stop to do the Chicken Dance. But thats just me....

Kacy: But, but ... I like the hokey POKEY.

GHayden: Ok then play that durring my pee break.

Kacy: You got it chief!


GHayden: Decorations? Theme?

Kacy: First, are we getting a suite with a big bath tub? I need that!


GHayden: Is there any other kind? OH and it has to have a walk in shower too...big enough for 10-12 people .


Kacy: Kinda like a phone booth - we'll see how many people we can get in there. Oh god, i need to start tanning for this ... !


GHayden: Yeah me too, and no more carbs. Full body wax too.


Kacy: Ditto. Don't forget mani/pedi


GHayden: Like I'd wear strappy heals without one!


Kacy: That's what I'm screamin'.

I Ain't No Tina

And thank God for that! Despite, the numerous nasty threats, Ike barely even touched me. Sadly though, he did beat the crap out of a few others.

We were prepared for some disgusting weather all weekend, and the roomies decided to host a small gathering full of frivolous games, food, drinks and PAJAMAS! Okay okay, it wasn't really a gathering...more so just us, and Trey&Co but whatevs.
Bet you can't be quite as queer festive as us. We supplied our little Hurricane Party with...what else...Hurricanes! We also indulged in some "Nacho Disasters." You can't tell from the pic, but more than just that little appetizer, we made ultimate loaded nachos with all kinds of fixins piled on top. Believe me, those nachos looked like quite the disaster when we were done with them! Woah, don't think we're done yet. I had to head to the store to pick up some goodies to make "Ike" Cream Sundaes. Yup, told you that we were queer festive! MMMM - those were the best...served in martini glasses during our fabulous game of Partini! So for those of you who were truly affected by Ike, my thoughts and prayers go out to you. But as far as me, I am thankful he gave me a reason to stuff my face!

I'm So Popular

And my right index finger hurts from scrolling so much.

For the past two days, I've been sorting through over 25,000 deleted emails on my work account. OVER 25,000!!! Do you know how many emails that is? I didn't know people liked me so much! Okay, I admit, about 1/8 of them were SPAM for penis enlargements, 1/4 were emails back and forth from friends arranging dinner dates, happy hours, running and such, and the rest were strictly work related. BOO! I did however get great pleasure by rereading some of the friendly banter that was exchanged months and months ago! I had forgotten how much crazy crap has passed over my screen.

When I finished and had decided what I needed to keep and what I could discard, I felt so accomplished. Then, for some unknown reason, my email filtered 4,777 of the deleted emails back to my inbox. Not once, not twice, not three times...but 5 freaking times! Seriously? What the crap is up with that? And they weren't all at the top of my inbox for me to just select them all and conveniently hit the DELETE key, they were put back in place of the dates the original emails were received, so I had to go through that stupid process 5 MORE TIMES!!!! DANG I'm so pissed. All that time spent re-deleting emails 1, 2, 3, 4 5 times, I could have been stalking you on the webernets instead.

And did I tell you that my scrolling finger hurts? OUCH! How many calories do you think I burned by moving that one finger alone?

But speaking of popular, I've started a trend and everyone is begging to have their voicemails on my video blog. See what I mean...


That was for you Kacy doll! :) Hope you 'preesh your shout out. HOLLA!

Somebody Left the Tool Shed Open

And one of the biggest tools ever created escaped and is on the loose. Here's looking at you 'Lowness!'



Speaking of tools, let's go ahead and add my brother Scott to the list. I was graced with this lovely voicemail when I woke up this morning. (I guess I like my high-tech method of getting my voicemails to video...)

Guess What We Did Last Night...

Normally I wouldn't share our dirty little secrets, but I think last night Robyn and I really saw the effects of how busy we've been lately. Luckily, those clothes all over my floor were already clean and I had separated them out into which drawer or section of the closet they go in. I like to make smaller projects so I feel more accomplished. Robyn on the other hand, poor thing, still had to wash all her crap and then put it away. We normally don't live like slobs, but we've hardly been home. We come home, change/sleep/shower and leave again. I'm so very thankful to have such a busy schedule behind me, so I can actually put my life back in order.

But, guess what we didn't do last night...

EAT!!! Or go grocery shopping!

We've been so busy, in and out of the house, we've rarely been home long enough to have a meal, therefore there has been a Missing Persons flyer left at all the grocery stores around my house. Don't be fooled by the little that you see in the fridge...if we have one thing, we don't have other ingredients necessary to make a real meal. I think last night I ate the last box of macaroni (made with expired milk, which I was later informed of.) Robyn and I made official plans to visit the grocery store this weekend, since we haven't gone since, oh...you know...MAY! We're definitely on welfare status, as I just stole some toilet paper from the bathroom at work, because I keep forgetting to stop at the store to get some. I wonder if this office has a stockroom of paper towels, trash bags and dish soap too? If I can find those, I won't have to go the store for another 3 months!

How pathetic are we?!?!

Quite A Weekend

Wow, what an event-filled weekend, random at that, and so far from a crazy debauchery or anything wild like that.

Friday night, I went to the Rangers vs Red Sox game with Yankee R. Sox. He had to work later than normal, so I agreed to meet him at his office, but I also didn't want to leave my car down there, so I drove up north and took the Dart Rail down. It was quite the experience. I got to see so many interesting people that I might not have ever run into before. I've done public transit in New York and Washington D.C., but it felt so weird to be doing it in my own hometown. I had two favorite fellow passengers: White Trash Man and Chicken Wing Woman. WT Man called all his baby mommas (3 total,) greeting each of them with "Hey Sexy, how's my momma and baby doing?" He's taking his 3 different kids fishing for the next 3 weekends. I got to learn all about his life, so interesting. He also may have left a lung on the train, but I'm not quite sure what all that hacking was for??? CW Woman got on the bus with a container full of wings and sauteed onions. She worked those things to the bone, basically sucking every piece of meat she could find. When she was finished, she then cleaned under her nails with her teeth. Wow - I think I puked a little. We got to the game and of course we had to watch the Red Sox pitchers warming up in the bull pin. I learned all about Iwo Jima Okajima and Applebottom Papelbon.
We had a great time and R.Sox was very proud to see more Boston fans than Ranger fans. The stadium erupted in "Let's Go Red Sox!" numerous times and R.Sox was in heaven! We had to make it an early night because I needed to get some rest for my race the following morning. Let me just say the Breakfast Bash 5 Miler was not all that enjoyable but we still all finished in good time. The breakfast sucked and there was a terrible bridge that we all hated, but Team Chelada always finds a way to have fun. Did I mention that the bridge was miserable? MIZZ. RA. BLE. Funny story...Kacy went online after the race to look up all of our times and she couldn't find my name on the list. She searched for my last name and sure enough I popped up...under the 'Athena' group. She emailed me asking if I meant to sign up for that group, and I had no idea what she was talking about or what the Athena group even was. Turns out, Athena Group is for the really really large people participating in the races and you have an option to check that box for each race you register for. I bet I actually probably won a prize for a top finisher of my group. Whoops!
After the race, I headed down to Robinson to help work on some small projects with the Millers. We started building a new trailer-turned-deer blind and an entertainment center. I was excited to use the electric screwdriver, but had no idea what was really in store for me. I was a bit hesitant when they wheeled the thing out... but as soon as I saw him light it up... ...I had to get in on the action. Can you believe me, little 'ole me, using a blow torch? And a grinder? Look at those sparks. And that hair! Woah! I'm such a good carpenter apprentice! Despite nearly shooting a nail through M's chest with the nail gun, and a few cutting mistakes on the big saw, I think I did alright. :)

Oh yeah, and I can't forget the biggest event of the weekend...Congrats to Robyn and Trey on their engagement!

Okay, back to the grind! Have a great Monday! :)