Please review a nice email exchange between two of my closest friends. Clearly, I hand-picked them for the most important reasons.
GHayden: Are you mad about the Jessica Simpson picture?
Kacy: Nah, I love Jessica Simpson. :)
GHayden: I posted that and thought "okay, this could go one of two ways..." J. Simpson is one of Satan's demons sent from the 6th layer of hell to destroy us, as a society, from within!
Kacy: Maybe, but she is still in my all-time threesome fantasy ;)
GHayden: No way lady. What about you, Victoria Beckham and Jude law? Or what about me, David Beckham and Ryan Reynolds..............*nice*.........what were we talking about?
Kacy: No, no, not Victoria ... Britney. No laughs, dead serious :) I'd take Ryan too. I like a hodgepodge.
GHayden: Ok so lets think about this seriously.....Britney circa 2001, Ryan Reynolds from the nude running scene in Van Wilder, Jude Law, Erik McCormack (Will & Grace,) Ashley Olsen ....dont ask why, andDavid Beckham just standing there watching because his voice is kinda pansey-like.
Kacy: You left out the icing. Jessica :)
GHayden: UGH ok I see your Jessica if I can bring back my Posh.
Kacy: Sure. I call. Let's do this :)
GHayden: Ok we'll need to get money together for a hotel room because I know this is going to get messy and no one will use coasters so it cant be at my place. Do they sell lube in 5 gallon jugs @ Costco? Check on that for me, plz.
Kacy: I like a variety pack myself.
GHayden: Yeah that's fun for a small get together, but I was thinking practically...more along the lines of hooking a large container up to a pump thats connected to a sprinkler head that would just shower us all with lube to keep things going. Maybe one of those tractor sprinklers that will slowly make its way around the room and back, therefore leaving nothing un lubed. Thoughts?
Kacy: Crop dusting, lube style. Yes, I love it. Can we get a DJ too? I like orgies to music.
GHayden: Yea a DJ is fine, but wouldnt you rather put money towards booze & snacks? We can put my iPod on shuffle... I've got everything from Britney to Enya to Macarena to Ricky Martin. It's up to you but I'd rather see a cheese platter and and cheap champagne than some meskin running a booth making us stop to do the Chicken Dance. But thats just me....
Kacy: But, but ... I like the hokey POKEY.
GHayden: Ok then play that durring my pee break.
Kacy: You got it chief!
GHayden: Decorations? Theme?
Kacy: First, are we getting a suite with a big bath tub? I need that!
GHayden: Is there any other kind? OH and it has to have a walk in shower too...big enough for 10-12 people .
Kacy: Kinda like a phone booth - we'll see how many people we can get in there. Oh god, i need to start tanning for this ... !
GHayden: Yeah me too, and no more carbs. Full body wax too.
Kacy: Ditto. Don't forget mani/pedi
GHayden: Like I'd wear strappy heals without one!
Kacy: That's what I'm screamin'.
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