Will & Grace

So I have this friend...
Who happens to be a flaming, fluttering fairy named Gayden Hayden...
He loves me because I like to get into the crazies with him...And while Gayden Hayden appreciates most everything about me...he hates the fact that I trade Bev in for the Cervix. He said so himself: I'm still not ok with the new vehicle in your life. You just Ditched Bev. She gave you the best miles of her life.... took you down dirt roads....found us taco bell's at all hour of the night. Yea she may have lost that new car smell and your garage ceiling may have partially caved in on her... but she was still a sexy beast who deserved respect...and maybe leather conditioner on the seats, I'm just sayin.....

My friends try to defend my Cervix, but he verbally attacks them too: I am sorry, but you do not understand the severity & the large amount of hurt that has been caused by this proverbial "trade". Bev meant something to me, she meant something to all of us, ok? *black mascara tears streaming down* I loved that car. My 1st impression of Lane was made in that car...it was a balmy summer evening, I believe. I had just been introduced to Lane once or twice and hadn't really figured her out yet. Then She arrived to the house we were at in a brand new, shiny & fully loaded Acura TL. My dream car at the time. "you want to go for a ride around the block?" She asking, in a mocking tone of course. "yes...yes i would" I replied, holding back the tears. I rode in back as Lane drove this beautiful steel specimen. Then the Most Sexiest voice that has ever sounded entered my ears... it was "Bev". Lane had gone from just some girl that i just met to this high class girl on a pedestal that drove a luxury car that spoke. As time progressed It became obvious that Lane was actually NOT high class and pretty much the only trailer trash female i knew that didn't actually live in a trailer. "Bev" also found us taco bell one dark, drunk night. Can your car find Taco Bell, Kacy? CAN IT!? I love my car more than anything in this world dude, but talk about a huge let down when you need help finding a 3am taco w/ copious amounts of hot sauce. This "trade in" that Lane so hap-hazardly did behind my back was the end of a chapter...no, the end of an era for me. You need to BACK OFF and let me sulk, mourn, cry & throw things because I'm ANGRY. I didn't even get to say goodbye.....not even a final sniff of the leather. So let it be known that you will never see me inside of Lane's cervix. DO YOU HEAR ME?!?! I WILL NEVER BE INSIDE OF LANE'S CERVVVV.....wait, oh my gawd..... 

However, it doesn't long for him to retract his anger and bitterness towards me regarding the whole Bev Vs. Cervix issue - all I have to do is send him a friendly card...He also likes for me to send him prizes. For Christmas, he got a very 'festive' lollipop and for his birthday last week, I mailed him a literary masterpiece. He was so excited to pair the two together...I just have to say that I love this 'mo and all his crazy shenanigans more than anything. Well, almost more than anything.  Happy belated birthday friend!!!