"I Can't Believe You Weren't Fired 18 Months Ago!"

Was my sister's initial response when I told her that yesterday was my 2 year anniversary at my job. The past two years seem to have both crawled and flew by, depending on the situation and the season, but I do have some favorite moments that have really made me laugh until I was crying.

1. Please reference the Insert Foot In Mouth post about the time I told my boss to have fun playing with his balls.

2. The time we were out to eat for lunch and I realized my phone, which was silenced, was going off in my purse. I think my exact words were, "Oh hang on, I think my vibrator is going off!" Pretty sure he did a double take, started laughing and was praying to baby Jesus that I was referring to my phone. Luckily for us both, I was.

3. Also reference Still Employed to be reminded of the time I unknowingly walked into my boss's office with half my clothes falling off.

4. Our most recent awkward conversation had to be when he told me his wife was pregnant, knowing I knew they weren't planning on it for another year. Although we get along great and are both super laid back and pretty straight-forward, I could tell he was having a hard time finding a way to appropriately tell me that they didn't have to try very hard. I loved that his wife later called me to tell me more details, because she knew he was uncomfortable sharing everything with me.

There really are tons of great things we laugh at, especially with my severe case of diarrhea of the mouth and the ramblings that just leap off my tongue. I am honestly so glad that I have such a cool, laid back guy to work for. It makes things a whole lot more fun. For lunch today, to help celebrate my tenure, he took me to eat at one of his favorite little Mexican joints located near downtown. I am now sitting back in my office thinking that what I took to be a kind gesture and show of appreciation, is really just his inconspicuous attempt at getting rid of me. He probably has too big of a conscience to come right out and fire me, so he just decided to off me with some spice. Problem solved and nobody would suspect he did it. I just hope the swelling caused from the ridiculously hot salsa goes down before my funeral. I don't want anyone coming up to give their final good-byes thinking, "man, she's put on some weight."