Why Men Are Never Depressed

(Unless they're gay.)

I just received this email with that title mentioned above, that has been circulated back and forth a few times between girlfriends..oh, and Hayden. Sure, most girls get a menial chuckle out of the original contents of this email, but the real laughter was when Hayden replied-to-all with his revisions.

Men are aren't just happier people - what do you expect from such simple complex creatures?

Your last name stays put gets hyphenated.

The garage is all yours full of Christmas decorations and boxes of wine glasses from all of your wine tastings.

Wedding plans take care of themselves will be costly and will be solely out of our own pockets, no thanks to Mom & Dad.

Chocolate is just another snack the enemy!

You can can't be President.

Unfortunately You can never be pregnant.

You can I would NEVER wear a white t-shirt to a water park.

You can I would NEVER wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth lie to me because I'm wearing Prada shoes and big sunglasses, while holding a Yorkie wearing a Polo.

The world is your urinal smells like a homeless persons urinal.

You never have to drive to another I don't use a gas station restroom because this one is they are ALL just too icky.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt I have to say ''lefty loosey, righty tighty'' just to understand how nuts and bolts work.

Same work, more same pay.

Wrinkles add character, my ass.

Wedding dress, $5000. Tux Rental, $100. White Gucci tux purchase, $3000; shoes, $500; belt, $150.

People unfortunately never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

New shoes don't cut, blister or mangle your feet hurt like a bitch...have you seen how narrow and pointy these new Aldo shoes are getting?!?!

One mood all the time per minute, bitch!

Phone conversations are aren't over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks, ...as in tops.

A five day vacation requires only one suitcase, per day.

You can open all your own jars only after sitting on the floor for 15 minutes crying about why it won't open.

You get extra no credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness cleanliness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend is DEAD TO ME!

Your underwear is $8.95 $38.95 for a three pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough for a two day trip.

You almost never have strap problems in public ...Um, do you know that jock straps don't stay put?

Everything on your face stays its original color would be better with help from injections and rouge.

Your hairstyle is the same for five years, maybe decades and that's okay and color MUST change with the season.

You only have to shave your face and neck Manscaping can take hours, and there will be blood, sweat and tears.

You can play with toys all your life ... and by toys, I mean cookware, stemware and anything in a man's underwear.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look only if you don't suffer from bird leg syndrome.

You can 'do' your nails with a pocketknife Mani-Pedis are a guy's BFF.

You have freedom of choice concerning will never see a moustache on this face...EVER!

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 25 minutes. Are you serious?!?! I started Christmas shopping last month!